Ok, a couple of Sundays ago, I was standing around bored in my empty bowling alley, waiting for a few guests to pop in and graciously give me their money, when I decided to pay a visit to the host stand of the dining room.

“I’m telling you, three weeks ago, I was here, and I got a to-go cup to take my tea home, and I want one tonight.” It was a big, fat, church-reject black woman, embarrassing the hell out of her kids and husband. Normal at my job sadly.

The hostess, we’ll call her Mizz T, was pretty new, but she knew that we’d never had to-go cups there, because our place has three bars for people to steal liquor from, or to sneak liquor out of, whichever way you want to put it. Mizz T was being very kind to this hateful beast of a woman. I stood there and listened for a minute, wondering how such a fat woman could get her neck to move in such ways while she talked. I tried it myself later, and about threw my neck out. My best friend Tootie says it must be a black thing, yet she’s black and can’t do it herself. (she says she’s white, but that’s another blog)

Mizz T “Ma’am, are you sure it was here that you got this to-go cup?”

Fatass “Yes, young lady, it was three weeks ago. I have a long drive and I need to take my tea with me, so just go get me one. I know you have them.”

Mizz T “No ma’am, we don’t.”

About this time, I look at the other hostess who was standing there silent, trying not to laugh her ass off, and say just loud enough for Fatass to hear, “We’ve never had to go cups here have we?” Knowing full well we never did, not since it was another restaurant. Apparently, Fatass didn’t like this very much.

Fatass “You need to keep your mouth out of other people’s business. I was talking to this young lady here, and you need to shut up before I have you fired.” Keep in mind that while I said what I said quite loudly, I didn’t direct it to her.

Me “Ma’am, please don’t talk to me like that or threaten my job over nothing. I was merely saying that we’ve never carried to-go cups here.”

Fatass “And I’m telling you to shut up. Noone was talking to you. And yes, I did get a to-go cup here, three weeks ago! You’re lying when you say you dont have them now”

I’m at a crossroads of laughing at her and really wanting to push the situation as far as I could out of sheer boredom. This church woman is going off on me.

Fatass “You need to just back the hell up because youre white ass doesnt know who youre messing with”

Me. “Ma’am, if you keep talking to me like that, I’ll have you tossed out of here on your ass.”

At this point, I decided to call the manager, because the woman started pissing me off. Her family was pulling at her, trying to get her to leave, but she just wanted to keep on. I like drama as much as the next person, but at that point I had people going into the bowling alley, and had a chance to make some money. I wasn’t even intending on being there as long as I was going back and forth with the woman, but what can ya do.

Fatass ended up cussing the manager out also, because he basically told her she was lying. Before she left, however, she made sure to threaten my job one last time, and her final words are,

“This mother fucker don’t know who he’s messing with. Whoever trained him needs to be fired, he needs to be fired, and you need to be fired. Whoever trained him didn’t do a good job, and his mother didnt do a good job if he can’t stay out of other peoples business. I was talking to that young lady, and not him.” Well, bitch, I wasn’t technically talking to you at first either, but you changed that real quick, didn’t ya.

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