It was a night last night. A really really looong inbred bumhick night of HELL. I didn’t make good money from anyone, no matter what I tried to do. I tried using great service. I tried mediocre service, Hell, I even tried shitty service. Nothing worked. Trailer park hicks are nothing but trash…sister fucking, brother-daddy beer drinking uncle-cousin trash.
First we have the group that smells like a meth lab just blew up all over them. Kids and all. “Swate Tay” drinkers. When I say “swate Tay”, I mean an entire urn, just for the 4 of them.
“Ya’ll aint got none of that there Busch beer do ya?”
“No, sir, we don’t. Is there something else I can get for you?”
“How bout some milwaukees best?”
“I’m sorry, sir, this isn’t the local kroger.”
“Well what the hell kinda beer do yall have?”
I go through the list of beers with him. “Ain’t ya’ll got nothin cheap?”
What the hell do you call bud light, high class?
Then we have the couple who eats their steaks burnt, with ketchup. I’m not even getting into that one because it made me wanna hurl, and I love me some ketchup.
All through the night…”Caint i just get some fries with it?” and “ain’t yall showin a race tonite?”
The last little family of the night was the worst.
The 24 year old with the 13 year old son, whose eyes were on each side of his head, not on the front, like a trout or something, the daddy who i think was also the mothers father, and the wife who thought she was high class drinking a margarita.
This kid was 13 years old, and he didn’t know how to read a single word. “What’s this franch frees on that burger?” They must be from Pulaski or something equally hickish…
I so need to get into fine dining…
Tips for the night: 78 dollar bill: 2 dollar tip.
57 dollar bill: 3 dollar tip
100 dollar and change bill, no tip
Maybe if I shot a chicken for them or had on a straw hat or some grease, i could have related better, but no, I was professional about my service, and I got screwed for it.
Ribeye
No tag for this post yet.Related Posts:
Loading ...
October 11th, 2007 at 7:39 am
Your description of Trout Boy had me laughing.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
You need to get the hell out of Tennessee my friend.
October 12th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
If your description of trout boy is accurate there is a reason for the placement of eyes. Inbreeding can foulup embroylogical development. The eyes of the human fetus like other animals are on the sides then move towards the front. Sometimes the eyes don’t go towards the front fully. Rare but not unheard. Maybe the kids feet were webbed.
There is a reason why inbreeding is frowned upon if it is closer then cousins.
As for the ketchup were these old people or real heavy smoker/coffee drinkers? Cause that can botch the tastebuds were you cannot taste anything unless it is covered in tons of hot sauce, sugar or ketchup.