I just wanted to say thank you to a few people who have linked to me or left a comment with my link on their page. These are my top referrers since I started the site.

Thank you to Behind the Counter

Insane Waiter

Bitter Waitress

ErNursey

Red Lobster Blog

I Serve Idiots

and LifeHacker.

Your sites have provided the most visits to me, and I just wanted to say thanks for it. I would also like to give a VERY special thanks to Gregg over at DinnersFromHell for giving me my first links and tips on how to keep the site great.

Ribeye

When I wrote my last post, I was a little pissed off from work.  It was a bad night for money.  Once again, the entitlement junkies struck.  I had a lecture from a “guest” on how I should be glad to serve them because they served my ancestors.  I couldn’t reply without losing my job, but that just pissed me off.  Here lately, there’s been a major influx of people like these.  TSU students are a big one.  They get out of school, and they come for the weekend to make my life a living Hell.

Then we have the trailer trash.  Once again, last night was full of it.  It’s almost like they parked their double-wides in the parking lot before they came in for a beer and to watch the game.   In the bowling alley, it was literally hick hell.  There were mullets, there were daisy dukes, there were cowboy hats and tight as hell jeans.  I swear I think there was even a horse parked outside.  They didn’t know how to tip either.  The only things these people were good at were barking orders for alcohol, and talking with a very thick country accent.  Almost a Texan accent.  It was scary.

I’m sure these people have all come out of their outhouses and projects to eat before, why is it that none of them know how to tip.  We were nice, friendly, and happy, the same as we are with our other guests, but somehow the two above think they’re above tipping.  I know they had money.  They had cash in pockets and purses, credit cards, debit cards.  I don’t care if you are saving an extra dime for that next beer, you need to leave a fucking tip when you come out.  We have bills to pay just like you.

To all of you above, don’t bother coming back.  I’d rather you burned than serve you again.

Ribeye

This was the question from the beginning of the shift.  I walk into the bowling area, and there’s this woman sitting at the bar.  At least…I think she was a woman.  There were disagreements on this very topic all night long.  Half of the staff seemed to think she was a drag queen flirting with the bartender.  The other half say she was a woman.  I personally think she was a hermaphrodite.  That would explain the big ghetto ass and semi flat titties, but then we have the adam’s apple and the big muscular arms…

She wasn’t an ugly wo-man, he was just very built.  She had long brown hair, dark eyes, and a semi feminine voice.  By the end of my first hour on the shift, the busser/runner who pointed her out to me in the first place had brought almost all of the staff over to the bowling alley to get their opinions.  It ended up close to 50/50, with 2 of us saying it was “He-Ra”.  I think she had a scrotal sack along with her female parts.

It wasn’t so much a dead night for business as a dead night for tips.   People just weren’t leaving them tonight.  I had lots of lanes, just cheap asses.  I was stiffed by many many ghetto tables, and was in redneck hell for most of the night.

Mullets were the fashion statement of the night.  It was like Billy Ray Cyrus was there puking all over people.  I don’t understand how rednecks drink so much beer and then not leave a tip.  It’s astounding.

Not much more to say on the topic than that.  I’ll have a more interesting post either later tonight or tomorrow.  Till then,

Ribeye

After the past two nights of utter and complete Hell, and the lack of money it has brought in, I’ve decided I’m in favor of adding an automatic 20% gratuity to ALL guest checks.  There’s different reasons for this.  1, it’ll be easier to claim tips for the irs and keep from being audited.  2.  I don’t want to have to worry about all the white trash and ghetto trash tables not tipping me, or leaving me shit tips making it so that I’m basically paying for them to eat.  3.  I’m tired of people who feel they don’t have to tip while they run me and my serving associates like dogs.

People who don’t tip or tip poorly when they receive excellent service are what I like to call “Entitlement Junkies.”  These are the people, and yes, I’m going to say it, the ghetto black people and the snotty black people, the trashy trailer bound inbred white hicks, the snotty rich white bastards, and the military.

In the case of the ghetto black people, they think it’s their job to run us around for nothing.  Even the black servers at my job don’t like waiting on the ghetto, and with good reason.  They don’t get tipped by them either.  The snotty black people think that we (we meaning white servers) OWE them the service, because of ancestry issues.

The trashy trailer bound inbred white hicks think they should run us around without tips because they work in factories making canned food and potato chips and get treated like trash, so they come out to treat us the same way.  The snotty assed rich white trash bastards think they’re better than us because they’re rich, so they’re just going to treat us however they want because they have money and we don’t.

The military people, well, they just don’t often tip well, especially the younger ones.  After all, they’re “defending our freedom” as one has told me, and in his own words, “Why should we give you cowards who aren’t serving your country anything, we’re already keeping you free.”  This was a 23 year old recently returned from Iraq.  The reason is, because we keep your wife and baby fed while you’re there.  We keep your parents spirits high while you’re out there risking your life.  It’s also the right thing to do.

If you people are going to come out to a restaurant, and expect us to do your bidding, then expect to tip us, or the next time you come in, we’re going to ignore you and not care what you say to the managers.  The managers support us, because they don’t want to do what we do, they don’t want to put up with your entitlement bullshit any more than we do, so just tip and we’ll all be happy.

That all being said, I don’t want to hear anymore that I’m a “Fucking Racist piece of shit” in e-mails.  I’ve never used the “N” word on here, and I never will.  I have many black friends who think the same way I do.  We’re all just tired of the trash.

We all know it’s not all the black people that don’t tip.  It’s a select couple of areas of the African American race.  The respectable ones, the ones that wanted to make something of themselves, they tip and they’re happy to do so.  They’re great to talk to, and you can learn a lot from them.  I’d much rather wait on a couple of my black regulars than most of the white people I have to deal with.  Not because they tip well, because they only tip average, but because they don’t treat me like shit.  They are good people.  They aren’t trash.

If you’re trash, it’s time you just started staying at home.  If you’re an entitlement junkie, then it’s time for you to go to Hell and burn.

Ribeye

Just like Friday night, it was HELL.  GHETTO HELL to be exact.  What is it about the weekends that bring out the trash?

Let’s just jump right into it.   First part of the night was great, happy people, good money.  I’d like to say a personal thanks to the couple from Paris, TX, you two were awesome people.  These two (who were in their late 50’s) came in, drank a couple of top shelf margaritas, and were just the nicest people I’ve had the pleasure to serve in months.  The lady was so sweet, they actually listened to my suggestions, and they were happy with their meals.  They were happy with their dessert, and they were all too happy to ask me to sit down and talk with them for a little while.  It was their anniverary, I’m wanting to say 35th or something like that.  They’re traveling across the country visiting places they’ve always wanted to see.  Tonight, they went to the Grand old opry to see Carrie Underwood.  They told me about their kids, they told me about their life, and it just made me smile.  It’s rare that a table makes me genuinely smile.  Sure, I fake it a lot of the time, cept for with my regulars, but these people were the cream of the crop.  They weren’t snotty, they weren’t bitchy that their food took a little longer to come out than it should have, they just sat drinking their margaritas, cuddled up with each other (it was a little nipply in the restaurant).  I sat with them as long as I could, and spent extra time with them.  I walked them out to the parking lot.  They tipped a big tip, which by that time, they could have stiffed me and I’d have still been happy.  It’s not often THAT happens either.

That’s how I stayed in such a good mood for most of the night…

Then 8:30 rolls around.

The ghetto has arrived.  I get 3 tables back to back of pure trash.  It’s not just the ghetto, I got a great trashy trailer park table too.  They didn’t leave me anything on all their Budweiser.  The ghetto at least tipped like 2 bucks a table on their 60 dollar and more bills.  For an hour I run ragged getting “exkra rainch” and “mo wangs”.  Then the bitches roll in.  I’m not gonna post their last names, much as I’d like to, but I’m going to post 4 of their first names (the only ones who paid with cards).

We have 4 bitches named:  Lennitria G.  Ciya R.  LaJocelyn S.  and Artressia W.   The two names I’m making up are going to be Karisha and Moniquia.

Artressia is a big fat bitch with barely any clothes, who got married recently.  Cubic zirconia ring, which I pointed out after they left the shitty tip.  She comes in with the other fat bitches to get drunk on their dime.  I’m on break when they come in, and Ms. L is taking care of my section.  She’s got their first round of drinks rung in pivot point order, along with their food.

I walk up, and introduce myself.  Lennitria: “Brang me one of dem big margaritas dat come in dem big bowls”.  I guess she’s thinking about Fridays, because WE don’t have anything in big bowls.   “I’m sorry ma’am,  we don’t have the drinks in the bowls.  I do have a good margarita though, would you like to try signature margarita drink?”

“Yea, brang me one uh dem”  I get her drink, and immediately have to get 2 more.  There’s 2 other empty drinks, but they don’t bother ordering until I get back with the other 2.

“Dis drank tase like piss, I aint gonna pay fo it”  So I take it off.

Ciya orders a traditional Mai Tai.  I get Mai Tai.  “Why ya’ll don’t know how to make good dranks?  Dis ain’t got no liqua in it!”  Drink has at least 4 oz. of over poured liquor in it.

They all end up getting 5 drinks, and the 6th girl is split between the other 5 checks, she’s not paying for anything.  I get their checks, after being run for an hour, and bitched at for an hour about ranch being given by the 2nd girl who ran the food (two trays, delivered at the same time, LaJocelyn’s food was on one, her ranch on another.)  She proceeded to bitch about it for the entire time they were there, even though it was brought out with her food, just on a separate tray.

I bring the checks, and don’t know that a couple of the drinks were rung in on the wrong seats, because Ms. L rang in the first round.  So I get bitched out over something I didn’t do.  I fix problem, and return new checks.  Total bill between them all was 205.60.   I was left 8 dollars.

FUCKING GHETTO TRASH WHORES I HOPE YOU NEVER COME BACK!

I had to pay for them to eat between tip-out and taxes.

Last table of the night, party of 2.  I run their credit card to pay.  It is declined.  I run it again, declined again.  I inform the guest.  I don’t know, or care why it’s declining the card.  Not my bank, not my problem.  He demands that I run it again.  “We just used it main, take it back and do it again.”  I take it back, and for some reason, it chooses to go through this time.  I hope that 30.02 overdrafted his account.  Fucking trash.

“I told you it was fine dumbass, why you be lyin to us.  It cuz we black?”  No moron, it’s because my computer said it was declined.

“It has nothing to do with your race, sir, sometimes the computers mess up.”  No tip from them either.

Ghetto Saturdays are the reason I am thinking about going back to day-shift.

Ribeye