I’m in the car on the way to work tonight, and I just realized that I really don’t want to go to work tonight.  It’s going to be short staffed, and busy as Hell just like it has been the past few nights.  I’m so tired of getting my ass kicked at work, and yes, everyone, the Ribeye does get his ass kicked.  Running a 6 table section where people are allowed to sit down on their own, even at dirty tables, is hard work when you’re filled to the brim with morons wanting food.

I’m headed for Hell….

I’ll tell you all about it later….when it’s 2008.

Ribeye

As you all know, I work in an area that is a first come first serve area table-wise.  That means, as tables get up and cleaned, people don’t have to wait for a host stand.  This also means that people who go to the host stand in search of a table and are turned down, come straight to our area.  They come to our tables, they sit at them as soon as the previous guests have gotten up regardless of if the table is clean or not.

When they sit down at a dirty table, you’d think they would not care if they have to wait for a minute when we’re busy to get the table cleaned up, but no. No, that would be civilized, and we only get rednecks and ghetto trash on the night shift.  We don’t get nice families, at least not 78% of the time, that would be too much.   We get bitchy as hell people who demand that we “Get ovah heah and clean dis table!” and “Which one uh ya’ll gon’ get dis’ table clean?” and things like that.

Then we get the people who come in with a big group.  They come in with groups of 10 or more, trying to find a quick table.  They spy a table, empty of guest but full of dish.  They send one or two people to the table to claim it, and either turn in their pager and get off the wait list or they’ll get the rest of their party.  Here’s where I come in.

I walk to the table that has 2 people sitting there, amidst dirty dishes that I haven’t had a chance to clean yet because we’re slammed and short-staffed.  “Guys, I’ll be with you in a moment, let me get this cleaned up real quick.  By the way, how many is going to be in your party, is this everyone?”

LaQueethia, with her ankle holders a swinging and her weave looming ominously above my head (and I’m a tall mother fucker), answers, “Oh, we got like foteen uh fiteen.”

“You’re not all going to fit in this booth, ma’am, have you been to the dining room to get on the waiting list?”

“We don’ wanna sit in dat dinin room, we gon’ sit heah so ouah kids can play da game.”

“Ma’am, we don’t have tables that can accommodate a party of this size.”

“We ain’ all gon’ be sittin heah at da same time, why you don’ wanna serve us?”   Not particularly.

“It’s not that, I would just like you to be comfortable.  By the way, there’s going to be an 18% gratuity on your check for having a party of this size.”  I really hoped this would run them off.

“Bullshit, no der won’ be.  We ain’ all on one check, and we ain’ all eatin.”

“That’s not my fault, you have a large party and that’s the rules.  If you don’t want to pay it I don’t have to serve you, and if you’re not being served, I’m going to have to ask you to leave my table.”   They asked for the manager, and still refused to pay a gratuity.  I don’t know where they went after that, but they didn’t stay in my section.  I don’t really care that they left either, they were getting on my damn nerves.

I did end up having to take a party of 12 that piled into a booth made for 4 people.  They tried to not get gratuity also, and I shot them down.

Every single one of them ordered wings.

“I want dees wangs douba cook.  Day need ta be real well done.”  That’s kinda nasty, having double cooked wings.   “Yes sir, I’ll make sure that they cook them well done.”

“We all gon’ need exkra rainch.  You gon’ haf ta brang some bows of it.”

“I’ll have to charge for each extra side of ranch guys, that’s going to be at least 12 extra dollars if you’re going to have a bowl or 6.”

“But ranch come wit da wangs.  Why ya’ll chahghin fo it?”

“You only get one side of ranch for each order of wings sir, and I’m not going to give you any extra for free, that would get me fired.”

“Dis be bullshit.”

“Be that as it may, I still have to charge.”

They also got pissed because I charged them for lemonade.  Lots of lemons and water I brought for this table, and I don’t deal with ghettoade.

I’m so fucking tired of stupid people.  I have about 25 hours of vacation time that I have to use up before the end of January, and I need to take it soon or I’ll lose it.  The gist is, I need to fucking take it.  Then I need to get a promotion for the mere fact that I’ve lasted this long without losing my mind.

Ill give you some real rants in the next couple of days, for we’re very short staffed over New Years.

Ribeye

Over the years, working in various restaurants, and yes, even eating in various restaurants, I’ve seen some not so savory things.  I’ve seen guests having….relations..with each other, I’ve seen guests having relations with employees, I’ve seen employees having relations with employees, I’ve seen managers having relations with employees, and managers having relations with other managers.  I’ve been in a few of those positions, but not in a few years, since RagingPartner and I got together (June 27th 2005 is when we made it official for those of you wanting to send anniversary things to us).

At Dennyland, the first round, on Murfreesboro Road in Nashville, way back when it was still open and I was still in high school at 16, I saw hookers.  I saw hookers doing unsavory things beneath the booths, such as handjobs, such as being pleasured by their employers fingers.

At Shoneyland, round one, I saw many cooks hooking up with the young servers after getting them quite drunk and stoned.  This was the Shoneyland that is now closed from Harding Place.  These are where I learned my trade…I witnessed a manager and a bus boy in the office, and it was quite entertaining.  I was 16 at the time.  This was also the first time I took a guy into the walk-in cooler of a restaurant, and make sweet sweet love against the produce.

At Dennyland, round two, on Briley Parkway in Nashville, before it shut down, when I was 17, I walked in on a couple of guests having some jackrabbit sex in the mens room stall.  It was a little weird, as I wanted to use the stall for an illegal purpose of my own (pre-rehab).  I also caught a cook masturbating by the dumpster, a woman masturbating in a booth, and two servers consumating a 10 minute relationship in the back dining room.

At Shoneyland, round….I forget, it was 5 or 6, watching a voyeur watch another couple screwing in a minivan was quite nice, I was 18 at the time, and it was one of my servers and the day shift dining room manager…I was the night dining room manager….it was the now defunct Shoneyland in Hermitage, TN.

At T.G.I. Fridays, at Shopryland (Opry Mills) in Nashville, during one of my coke binges, I had a quick fling with a Burger king employee who happened to be my dealer at the time.  I was 23, he was 19, and his wife was not happy when she found out about it.  I didn’t know she saw anything, but apparently she’d been looking for him.  That Fridays also was notorious for handjobs and blowjobs in the bathrooms.  I saw a few, heard a few, and took a picture during one of them.  The picture was subsequently deleted from my phone with a threat of beating my ass.  The guy was laughing his ass off.  The girl was the one threatening me.

At Waffle House on Murfreesboro Road, RagingPartner and I saw a prostitute get fingered to three orgasms while eating her breakfast.  It was something that made the appetite go away.

There’s a ton more, but that’s for another post.  I’d like to ask the question:  What is it about restaurants that makes people horny?  Is it the food, the chance of getting caught?  What is it?

Thought this might be a funny, however sickening change from the norm.

Ribeye

This week’s poll is now over, and not surprisingly there weren’t many votes to be tallied with the holiday.  Lots of you read Mystery/Suspense type books…interesting.

• Mystery/Suspense (57%, 46 Votes)
• Fantasy (46%, 37 Votes)
• Science Fiction (38%, 31 Votes)
• Horror (37%, 30 Votes)
• Biography (23%, 19 Votes)
• Trashy Romance/Harlequin/Erotic (19%, 15 Votes)
• Read? Why read when I have TV and the Internet? (15%, 12 Votes)
• Political (12%, 10 Votes)
• Self Help (4%, 3 Votes)

Then there’s those of you that don’t read at all.  Reading opens the mind!  The internet can’t do it all!

And now, what you’ve all been waiting for, here’s this weeks edition of…..

 Stupid names of the week:

The Ladies:  Hennekia

Sueyontay

Tiaja

Sendila

Lendittia

The Gentlemen: Alamarion

Gervante

Lourontan

These were all taken from various credit card slips throughout this week, and yes, it was a big week.

I’ll have the poll up shortly, not feeling well as you know if you’ve read the blog lately.  Come back soon.

Ribeye

Well, with the new year coming, there’s also some new ideas in the works here at RagingServer.com.

The Horror Story submission page, and Horror Story section that I’ve talked about before is up, as the RagingPartner has just finished it. These stories will be credited to the person who wrote them. I won’t necessarily post your e-mail if you don’t want me to, but I will if you don’t tell me not to.

Also, I’m considering guest posters. This is one I’ve been thinking of for a while now, but I’m not sure exactly how I’ll work it out. If you have suggestions on this topic, let me know.

RoundTable, as always, is going to be moving along further, and if you want to be included in the future, give us post submissions for it.

The RagingPartner has also found a new place for the t-shirts, not sure if it’s going to have other products there too, but I haven’t got that set up yet.

I think that’s it for now….

Let’s all pray for the Raging T-Bird….she’s not doing so well as you all know….

And let’s all go vote for me at the BlogTopList, the link is on the sidebar….and here’s a couple more.