The Jerry Springer Invite and the Crackhead Brigade
Hell, bad tips, entitlement junkies, ghetto, gratuity Add commentsFor those that were wondering about this weeks poll, the Ribeye of your Dreams has been invited to appear on the Jerry Springer show and tell his story. Sounds fun right? Get paid to go on tv and tell my story? Why did I start this blog, why do I keep putting myself through all the shit that I do? There’s a catch though, see, if I were to go on the show, I’d be fired. That might not be so bad if I find another job first, but who knows what will happen. You guys can help me make the decision by voting in this weeks poll, on the right sidebar. Thanks bunches people.
The Crackhead Brigade. They came in early tonight, around 8pm. I’d almost welcome having the rednecks back instead of the ghetto circus we had in there tonight. I saw more pairs of boxers on guys that didn’t bother pulling up their pants than I’d ever like to see again, and more ankle holders than I’ve ever seen in one place. We had a party of 20 come into the game room, and spread out between 5 tables. I got two of them, 9 people total. All on one check.
I go up to the table all kinds of happy, its a big party which means gratuity.
“Hey everyone, I’m Ribeye, I’ll be ta….”
“Why you take so long ta get ovah heah?” Here we go again. It’s the ringleader, Jaterriara.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m here now. Can I get you something from our bar? Glass of wine, a top shelf margarita? Shot of Patron?”
“We all gon’ be havin waddah.”
“9 waters it is. Can I get you any appetizers started? Maybe some cheesesticks or spinach dip?”
“You gon’ need about thray bows uh lemon, and we all gon’ have wangs.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but we ran out of buffalo wings an hour ago. We won’t have any more until tomorrow.”
“Dat main da meal gon’ be fray right, ya’ll ain’ got what we wanna eat.” Why has it always got to be about getting something free?
“No, I’m very sorry but it doesn’t work that way.”
“Well you gon’ haff ta get da managah ovah heah, you is lyin.”
“At your service, ma’am, he’ll be right over.” Manager T, the New, goes by the table, and tells them the same thing that I did. Just because we’re out of something doesn’t mean you get it free. He also made me charge for lemonades because of how many lemons they wanted, I didn’t even have to ask him, and that made me happy. More for the grat.
I take their orders, and get them into the computer. Exactly 9 minutes go by before I’m getting yelled at to come to the table. I get over there, and another of the bitches asks me, “How much longer is da food gon’ be? It’s done been 20 minutes already.”
“Ma’am, it’s not even been 10 minutes since I put your food in, and I can assure you that as soon as it comes out, I’ll have it right to the table. Well done steaks take time to cook.”
“Den brang me a salad.” The salads are made of field greens. “Ya’ll ain’ got no salads dat is jus lettuce do ya? I don’t like dat grass in a bow.”
“No, ma’am, other than a caesar salad, that’s all we’ve got.”
“You gon’ have ta pick out da greens so it just reglah lettuce.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m not doing that.”
Flash forward to the delivering of the check. “If you all would like anything else, please let me know and I’ll be glad to add it on.”
“Why da fuck we gettin chahghed fa lemonade. We ain have no lemonade.” Says the bitch that went through 40 sugar packets making ghetto-ade.
“I’ll just get the manager over to explain it to you.” He comes back to the table, explains it to them, and walks off when they start to yell. I then hear them bitching about the gratuity.
“Why da fuck we gotta pay dis 18% bullshit? He ain’ done nothin but stand around da whole time we was heah and we ain’ even sittin at tha same table! We ain pose ta have ta pay a tip when we ain’ sittin togetha.” It was all on one check.
“Well I’m not taking it off, so you can either pay it or I’ll call the cops,” the manager replies.
Lesson learned? Ghetto women are crackwhores and I hate them all.
They get the corporate number on their way out, bitching about racial discrimination and how we wouldn’t have put a gratuity on a white table. Bullshit honey, I don’t trust big parties, I grat them all.
Ribeye
Related Posts:
Related posts:
- Unwarranted Gratuities aka. Thieves of the Industry
- Are you Hungry? Are you Thirsty?
- The Bastards and Bitches of the Prom, Part Two: Saturday Night
- Return of the Kitty, Still no hours, a Surprising Return “Offender”, and a Delivery Man with No Fucking Soul!
- The Bastards and Bitches of the Prom, Part One: Friday Night
December 15th, 2007 at 4:05 am
I need manager T’s name and address so i can personally send him a thankyou card. haha.
also- be soo glad you can grat parties because at my workplace they don’t believe in making sure servers get tipped on parties. We have a group of 70 yr old cloggers or square dancers or something like that come in every so often and don’t tip hardly anything. like a dollar per couple- i’d be HAPPY to be able to complain about grat. problems!! definately.
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December 15th, 2007 at 4:17 am
Ribeye Darling!! I tried to vote in your poll, but something was wrong with my computer and it wouldn’t process…
Anyway, I want to tell you something. I am a Nashville area server as well as you, I am 27 and have about 6 years serving experience total. I just want to tell you that based on your intelligence, experience, and just general sense of knowing what you are doing/how the world works… you could get hired in an instant at virtually any Nashville area restaurant that you cared to work in. You probably already know this and if you don’t– I PROMISE. Decent servers who do their shit and don’t mind working hard for their money are hard to come by– but you know this.
I understand that changing jobs is a very personal decision that must be carefully considered and can only be decided by the individual. I also understand that the horrible guests that you are made to wait on provide valuable material for you to keep this awesome blog going. I just know that you, and everyone for that matter, deserves to work somewhere in which they don’t have to endure abuse on a daily basis. There are many establishments that would love to hire you where they don’t even keep Ranch dressing on stock.
I know you know all this, and I know you love your job… but if you want to go on television and it means losing this every day abuse and mistreatment… I hope you do what you want to do. I am a server in your area and I promise you where I work (and it is not fine dining) I have NEVER had such trash as you speak of in my restaurant. I am familiar with “server abuse” but the treatment you put up with regularly is just….inhumane. I know there are many more good things that you don’t write about as well but, even if this is the very worst you still should never have to put up with that. I really do respect you for what you go through.
I know there is a lot to think about but I will tell you this- if you leave that job, you will have 50 more waiting for you. Hell, you are so smart and eloquent that you could do many things outside the restaraunt business if you so chose. I just hope you know that the last thing you have to do is live life being treated like shit. You are better than that. All of this being said, I just hope you don’t make any decisions that you will regret for a long time just to keep a job that brings you into daily contact with the scum of the Earth!
I wish you the best of luck, even though you don’t need it. Do what makes your heart happy!
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December 15th, 2007 at 4:31 am
1. Go on Jerry Springer
2. Get Fired
3. Sue for wrongful Termination
4 Retire to the south of France
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December 15th, 2007 at 5:50 am
Wow! Managers with backbones? They didn’t have those in the Northeast where I waited tables years ago….
Kudos to the Management for standing up for you guys@!
Oh, and I still ROAR every time you mention “ghetto-ade.”
Love it!
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December 15th, 2007 at 6:05 am
Sadly, Rob. In TN it is a Will-to-Work state. This means you can be fired for any reason and quit for any reason without negative consequences. Only company policies stop this type of termination, otherwise it’s anything goes.
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December 15th, 2007 at 9:46 am
Is Jerry Springer really worth it? You’re better than that. Why would you want to go to ghetto-hell central?
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December 15th, 2007 at 11:05 am
Jerry Springer acts like he doesn’t even want to do his own show anymoe, but he’s obligated by contract. My market (its a pretty large one too) airs Springer in the middle of the night because the ratings are lousy. Skip Springer and hold out for something where you possibly won’t be actually assaulted on stage.
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December 15th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Be a guest on Jerry Springer? WOW, MORE of what you write about HERE!!!
I wouldn’t. It’s like promoting such behaviour.
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December 15th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Of course I think the ghettoade is wrong but I’d still tell people before the check came. I can see where this may cause problems if lemonade is $2 a person and you multiply that by 9 people. If these people were trying to eat as cheaply as possible, it could turn out they didn’t have enough come the end.
Disgusting, rude people. Gggrrr!
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December 15th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Plus, what are the chances that you’re really being invited on for the reason they’re telling you? I’d be worried that they’d call you onstage and then tell the audience, “Meet Raging Server, who thinks that every diner in his TN restaurant is ghetto”…and so begins the chair-throwing.
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December 15th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Going on Springer would put you in the trash category, seeing as how that’s all that appears on that show to begin with. & that’s not you.
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December 15th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Oh Ribeye. I almost got in so much trouble yesterday because of you. See, we had our annual Christmas lunch at work. We went to very nice establishment, had a private seating in their wine room and enjoyed a wonderful meal. I was sitting across from one of our managers, someone who normally is not “ghetto” in any way. She’s one of the people you describe that you enjoy serving. She is calm, pleasant, appreciates good service and good food and acknowledges such (I know, I’ve been out with her on many occasions). HOWEVER, she makes “ghetto-ade” every single time we have a meal. Now, I’d never thought much of it before other than I found it odd. Yesterday however, I could barely control myself as she took her plate of lemons from our server and proceeded to concoct her drink. Oh my, all I could think of was your descriptions and was on the brink of excusing myself from the table to regain my composure. Thankfully, I was able to maintain control and just avoided looking at her drink for the remainder of our meal. I did have a good laugh about it later in the day as I described the scene to a friend. Thank you for making our annual meal a little brighter (at least for me) this year.
Oh and forget Springer. Why cheapen what you do here and risk your existing and future employment opportunities for that?
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December 15th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Jerry Springer thing: don’t do it…your manager is awesome and supports the staff. That’s rare at any restaurant. Even if your situation isn’t perfect moneywise or whatever, it’s gonna be a pain to find a job with that kind of support. Just my 2 cents. Noone watches Jerry Springer anymore anyway.
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December 15th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
I managed/cooked/bartended in a small bar once, and we didn’t do the autograt thing. We had a table of about 14 come in, and the waitress ran like hell for two hours, and they left her about 4%. We immediately set up an auto grat for the future, not that it helped her.
I hate the autograt thing, myself, if I am ‘hosting’ a party. But I certainly understand it, when the group might be a few seperate groups, dining together.
It still makes me wince, trying to calm down that poor girl, when she got that shitty tip…
I was up to wandering out after tables if they tipped crappy, asking what was wrong, letting them know that we knew they were cheap, but man, that big table took me by suprise. And she didn’t tell me until long after they were gone.
I was young, and not so jaded as I am now… In hindsight, they may have assumed we automatically charged a gratutity, since everyone else did.
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December 15th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
Springer thing:
You didn’t say how much he’s offering. I’m guessing it’s not much.
But how much you might be paid would affect my opinion of whether you should do it, or not.
1 weeks pay: Heck no
1 months pay: Maybe
6 months pay: Probably
1 years pay: Heck yeah!
But based on the way you described it: Forget about it!
The other thing is, they never seem to invite someone on to talk about what is going on. If you go on there, they are going to have a few of your patrons there, who you have dissed on the blog, and get you to confront them.
Or some kind of setup, where you end up looking like an ass, and end up being ridiculous in front of a national audience.
Don’t go there, man !
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December 15th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Please, please don’t do it. You are so much better than that. Most of us know where you work anyway, but why risk your job.
It’s Jerry Springer… what good could come of this?
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December 15th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
i didn’t know that, rob!
so, ribeye- i’ve been wondering, do ppl. you work with read your blog? what do they think of this? topic ever come up at work?
also- why exactly would you be terminated from your job? sounds kinda free speech-ish to me.
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December 16th, 2007 at 12:19 am
Exactly what I was going to say JTN! I can picture Saquierra and her famil going after you, and you don’t need that. After all, isn’t Jerry’s show known for its fights? I say to hold out for Oprah or even the ladies on the View. Then you can stand up for all of us and teach America how to treat servers!
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December 16th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
No Springer, Ribeye. Hold out for Oprah.
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December 16th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Remeber, if you do Springer all your ghetto custoers will know who you are.
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December 16th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
I have to agree – while it would be the first bit of ‘publicity’ (can you really even call Springer that anymore?) that the blog has gotten – I don’t think that it’s worth it. If a producer from Jerry Springer is interested now, then likely someone else would be at some later point, later on. And that person might not look as favorably then if you went on Springer now.
Also, I have to agree that many many years ago I watched Springer, and the guests are -never- told the real reason they’re coming on the show. It’s always a surprise twist, and I would guarantee there would be some guests to confront there and it would end up being bad for both the wallet and reputation in the end.
–Your loving Raging Partner
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December 17th, 2007 at 5:28 am
I’m with most other people. I would advise against doing the show because you are sure to end up with egg on your face. It’s just a vehicle for gratuitous mud slinging and some of it is sure to stick. That show has always made me cringe. In this case “any publicity is good publicity” doesn’t apply in my humble opinion. (Just here via Well Done Fillet). Love your blog and will be back.
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December 17th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
The next step down would be commercial endorsements for those adult diapers.
Sorry … Jerry Springer .. EWWWW..
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December 18th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
You know you’ll be painted as a racist & won’t have the opportunity to explain otherwise. I wonder if he’d have real past guests of yours or just people told to say they were?
How did Springer find you?
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December 18th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Jenna, a producer read my blog, contacted me. I contacted her, and we talked about it. I really honesty don’t think I’m going to do it, but it was a fun thing to think about.
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December 18th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
TY :-) Good Luck with your decision, I’d hate for you to be maligned and banned from restaurant work.
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January 4th, 2008 at 10:47 am
Hillarious post Ribeye.
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