Powerful isn’t it!  Or not.  Tonight, I almost felt bad for all the “no’s” I had to utter…and shout.

It all started with a nice little old couple and their mentally challenged teenage son.  I tried everything I could for them, and in the end, they were happy and tipped me 20%.  It was a little iffy though, at least in my eyes.

“Hey there guys, how are you today?”

“We’re doing well, thank you, how are you?”  The gentleman replied, his name was Phillip.

“I’m doing great, thank you for asking!”  I replied.  This guy and his wife were turning out to be pretty fucking nice from what I could see.

“You’re welcome, sir, not many people care how others are doing these days.”  The old man was nice, but had to be cut off before he went into one of those over middle aged rants.

“It’s nice when people ask, most people just don’t care as long as I bring their food out to them quick.  Speaking of, can I bring the two of you some drinks?  It’s happy hour if you’d like something from our bar.”  His wife ordered a Cabernet Sauvingon  (spelled wrong I’m sure, but I suck at wine service and know nothing about wines in general).  Phillip on the other hand was a little more difficult.

“Have you got flavored lemonade?” he asked.  “No, sir, I’m sorry.  We only have regular lemonade.”

“I see…do you have tea?”  he asked.  “We have sweet and unsweet, fresh brewed tea.”  “Do you have fruit teas?”  “No, sir, I’m sorry.  Only the sweet and unsweet.”

“I see…have you got fruit punch?” he asked, looking a little frustrated.  “I’m sorry sir, but we only have lemonade and a few juices.”

“Do you have orange juice?”  “Yes sir, but it’s not free refills.”  “Give me half orange juice and half sweet tea.”  “Right away sir.”

I get their drinks, and come back.  “Have you guys had enough time to look over the menu?  Any questions about anything?”

“Can I get the ribs with broccoli and cheese?”  Phillip asked.  I tried not to let out a sigh, knowing that my answer would upset him.  “I’m sorry sir, but we don’t offer broccoli and cheese here.”  He grunted.  “How about a baked potato?”  “I’m very sorry sir, but we only offer a few side items here.”  I proceeded to name the few side items we have.

“Can I get those ribs with a cup of vegetable soup?”  “I’m sorry sir, but we only offer one soup choice at this location.”   I finally got him to settle on a side of green beans with his ribs.  His wife ordered a chicken parmesan dish, and cheesesticks for the son.

I almost regretted my next question.  “Would you all like to start with an appetizer today?  Perhaps some spinach dip or an order of buffalo wings?”

“Can we get an order of shrimp cocktail?”  I guess he thought he was in a high class eatery sitting in my game room.  “I’m sorry sir, we don’t offer shrimp cocktail here.”

“Do you have quiche?”  Yes, he really does think he’s in a high class restaurant.  “No sir, I’m sorry.  Can I perhaps get either of you a house salad?”  “No, we’ll just take our food.”

Fast forward to after the meal.  “Can I tempt you all with dessert today?”  I ask, making a couple of suggestions.  “Have you got a hot fudge cake sundae here, or some lemon meringue pie?” At this point, I’m thinking the table is a lost cause, despite his attitude during the meal being pretty good.  They did end up tipping me well though, and he didn’t blame me for the shortcomings of the restaurant.

Some of the other “no’s” I was forced to deal out tonight:  “Can I get a free refill on Irish coffee?”  “No, ma’am.”

To the couple trying to exit into the mall after the mall was already closed.  “You can’t go out those doors, I’m sorry.”  “But we is pahked on dat side.”  “I’m sorry, but we can’t let anyone out those doors after the mall closes.”  “Can’t you just watch us walk across?”  “No.”

“Did you find my phone ovah heah?”  “No, ma’am.”

“Do ya’ll do anythin fa burfdays?”  “No.”

Sometimes, I really do enjoy telling people no, especially when they’ve pissed me off enough.  Tonight, most of the people hadn’t even bothered me at all, so I felt a little bad having to tell them no over and over and over again.  Oh well, there’s always tomorrow (Saturday, the 1st aka, today) for a bit of drama….after all… I’m working a double and I believe I’m working with the lazy one, aka, the Hawk.  We’ll see.

Come back later and find out!

Ribeye

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