Yes, I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted, and I know it’s been a couple of weeks since we had a new Round Table. I’m going to get a new Round Table up on Monday. I’m also going to make some changes to the RagingServer store, and the theme. The site’s moving to a new server, same domain.
I’ve been a little tired the past couple of weeks. It’s that time of year again, when the high school brats start to graduate, families come in town, and all come to make my life a living hell. It doesn’t help that I’ve started my new job as of this week (2nd job, still serving) at a local golf facility and that’s making me a little irritable when I get to work at the restaurant.
I know you’ve all wanted to hear about Mothers Day, and I’m not going to let you down. I wanted to strangle small children. I don’t know what it is about Mother’s Day that makes people think they get everything free, but it happens year in and year out.
This year, my first table of the day was one of those discount junkies. It was a table of 6, 4 little screaming brats, the Mother, and the Baby Daddy. Momma doesn’t want to wait for me to go to the table and proceeds to get up and waddle to the bar to get a drink. I manage to overhear a few snippets of the conversation she had there while I waited for it..I mean her, to return to the table. Included but not limited to the following: “Hennessey..” “dat’s too damn much” “fuck dis shit”. Fun times already.
When she finally waddles back to the table, a few things jump out at my attention that I hadn’t noticed before. This bitch had some fake nails, and they were fucking huge. We’re talking 2 and a half inches at least. They were painted black with gold glitter, and they curved in like the talons of a demon. More shocking than the nails were the fact that they were only on one hand. How the fuck do these ghetto assed women eat or do anything with those gigantic nails on their hands? I’ve seen servers try to wear them and work, and they were the laziest of the bunch! 
These nails in the picture are about a quarter of the size but you get the idea. Anyway, I walk up to the table and have to wait for a minute before I can talk because the fucking crotch stain kids wouldn’t shut up. “Momma I gon’ get some wangs.” “Day gon’ brang some roll, Momma?” Finally, I’d had enough and I more or less shouted at them, “Hello everyone, how are you?” They shut up right quick when I raised my voice. Momma Jaquandria puts one of those talons in my face in a ‘hold on’ gesture. “Let me axe you a querstion.” I hear ghetto speak every day, but the words ‘axe’ and ‘querstion’ in one sentence was almost too much for me and I nearly burst out laughing at her.
Instead, I felt the need to subtly correct her. “Yes, ma’am, ask away. I’ll be glad to answer your question.” If she got the hint then she didn’t let me know. “Why is ya’ll Hennesey be chahge so much?” It took me a second to translate, and I’m getting pretty fluent at translating ghetto. “Excuse me? I didn’t quite catch that, ma’am.”
“I axed you why ya’ll Hennessey be chahge so much, dat too much money to pay fa some Henny.”
“I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t make the prices I just follow them.”
“But dis be Muttah’s Day, we pose ta get ouah drank fa fray. Dat what da commercial say.” There was no commercial.
“I’m sorry ma’am, but you must be thinking of another restaurant. We haven’t run any Mother’s Day commercials, especially ones that say we give away free drinks. That’s illegal here.”
“Well I wan’ my drank fray, you need ta get yo managah fa dat false advadisin.” I can see how this is going to end. Thankfully, I was backed up on the no free drinks.
The entire table ordered wings, with the two adults getting double orders.
The food comes. “Why deez wangs ain’ crispy?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Deez wangs ain’ done, day ain’ crispy at all.” She shoved a half eaten, fully done wing in my face.
“Ma’am, the wings are fully done, but if you’d like me to have them fried a bit longer I’ll gladly have it done for you. It’s going to be another 15 minutes or so though, the kitchen is really slammed right now.”
“Dat mean it be fray right?” I took back all 8 orders of wings, sat them in the window for about 10 minutes and brought them back out. “Now deez is some wangs! You gon’ haff ta brang out mo’ ranch fa deez.” I really wanted to stay and see how she ate the wings with those nails, but I was in a hurry. I’m going to assume she just sucked the meat off of them. Grand total of 2 oz. ranch sides: 26. Total ranch eaten: All of it.
Toward the end of the meal, they’d finally pissed me off beyond return. “Ma’am, I’d appreciate if you could keep your children from throwing their bones onto the floor. That’s what the big bowl in the middle of the table is for.” She responded by throwing a bone onto the floor in front of my face, then asking for the manager.
They ended up paying for the entire meal, and stiffing me on a 90 dollar check. I wasn’t surprised as they were nothing but ghetto trash.
The rest of the day was much like that table, and by the end of the day I just wanted to down a bottle of aspirin and sleep for a month.
Do us all a favor, and eat with your families at HOME on Mother’s Day, not out in public. You know who I’m talking to.
Ribeye
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May 16th, 2008 at 7:54 am
I decided against going out, brunches, teas , and all that crap. I took my kids and hubby to Universal Studios and had a blast riding rides, watching shows, and basically just having a good ole’ time with out all the dress up, blah, blah, blah, crap that Mother’s Day has become.
May 16th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Amen to that.
I despised Mothers day when I was a line cook.
like Thanksgiving and Valentines day; crowded and usually a special menu.
May 16th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
I have seen those long curved nails and my question is how do you wipe your ass or put in contact lenses?
May 16th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I do believe that the majority of that woman’s extended family was in the L&D waiting room at my hospital last night. See today’s post on http://atyourcervix.blogspot.com
May 16th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
That’s one more reason wy I hate Mother’s Day.
I am a mom, but I don’t want to go to a damn restaurant on Mother’s Day. Too many people, usually assholes, taking up too much space, and bitching about everything. And everything is their fault anyway, if only because they are assholes.
May 16th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
OMG….you poor thing…I think at that point I would of just grabbed a chicken wing and threw it at the bitches fat ugly ass face….I feel so bad for you working there and having to deal with that shit…You can’t blame the kids, they are learning from their “momma’s” but a grown ass heffer doing that? Beyond disrespect, a pure animal behavior…You’re too good of a person to waste your time on garbage like that! How is the other job going?
May 16th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Those fingernails are horrifying. Hospitals have done investigations of them, maybe not the superlong ones, but normal long ones, and found that they are filthy germ reservoirs so nurses aren’t supposed to grow out their nails. Can you imagine what would be found under the really long ones? (Apparently Daalny can.)
I once worked next to a girl who had very long nails. They were so long she couldn’t work her calculator with her fingers so she used a pencil. The really creepy thing about these nails is some of them were so long, they had started to twist around like a ram’s horn. Yecchhh.
May 17th, 2008 at 5:36 am
not to mention the nasty ass chemicals you get exposed to while getting them done and wearing them-never heard of wearing just one hand tho
Hey Raging Im curious how much does an extra side of ranch cost im jealous my place doesnt charge extra for those who opt to DROWN their salad -thank GOD we dont serve wings
as to holiday dining avoid it at all costs those EXCEPT thanksgiving eve and Xmas eve because there poor bastards working those shifts deserve to be busy (they are too depressing if the shifts are slow)
May 17th, 2008 at 9:54 am
i am so glad we are closed on the weekends i dont have to put up with mothers day bullshit. i am a mother but we went out on saturday to celebrate a nice dinner and then a movie i think everyone was waiting till sunday to go out as both the rest and theater were not packed which is why we chose to do it the day before. we always do that we go out the weekend before valintines day as well it means the same thing to us without the wait and crowed places.
May 20th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Yeah, mother’s day is tough for everyone…except, I guess if you’re a mother and you absolutely revel in it. My mom’s birthday is in the beginning of May, so my bro and I always have double duty! At least we only go to dinner on her bday and have brunch or something on Mothers day at the parents house…
And for all of the servers and restaurant workers out there, while I am 25 years old and do not have children, when *I* was a child, I knew I had to behave in restaurants or I’d be quickly removed…but that was apparently a very long time ago…
May 20th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
hah! this post made me giggle. mainly because it reminds me of my mother’s day. i wanted to slap the piss out of countless tables.
May 21st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Oh Jesus! This post sounds like a 10-top I had to endure on Mothers’ Day. They “axed” me a thousand “queshuns”, especially where price was concerned, ran me like a dog for ranch and refills (we’re not allowed to leave pitchers on the tables), then when the bill came with an automatic 18% gratuity, they pitched a bitchfit until the manager took it of. AND THEN proceeded to stiff me on the tip for a $120 tab. It took all the strength and professionalism I’ve acquired in my 13 years on the floor not to walk out behind them, tap one of the Ghetto Mamas on the shoulder and say “FUCK YOU, YOU CHEAP, NASTY BITCH!” before clocking her in the face.
I had to remind myself why I sacrifice MY Mothers’ Day every year… And that’s just sad. I usually love working Mothers’ Day. *shakes head in disgust*
May 22nd, 2008 at 6:40 am
I don’t understand why it’s so hard for some people to be civil when they dine away from home, especially on holidays. They act like they were dragged kicking and screaming from their own home and force fed poison. I don’t see the point of going out if everything about dining out in a restaurant makes you miserable. Stay home if it’s so terrible out in the world!
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:30 pm
What everyone is missing here is the Ghetto concept of “getting over”. This means getting free stuff through any scam possible, such as complaining about the food, the waiter, anything that they think will work. When management gives in, it just provides positive reinforcement to the culprits. Guaranteed they will try the same thing at the next restaurant.
When I was young and stupid (15) I worked as a busboy at a snooty restaurant. We didn’t see many black customers, although most of our waitstaff was black. I was surprised one day when the black waitress that I worked with tried to get out of serving a black couple that came in. I asked her why - and I’ll never forget her answer. She said “Oh honey…black people don’t tip, and if they do its only a dollar. I can’t afford to work for that.”
May 28th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Racism still exists today in the United States of America I see. Attention restaurant servers, tips are NOT guaranteed at all. There is NO law that states that customers/guests must leave a 10-20% tip, so why do servers always expect it? I’ve waited on several “black tables” that left great tips as well as “redneck tables” that left great tips. These stereotypes about blacks & rednecks not leaving good tips is just that-STEREOTYPES, nothing more. Please understand that some people don’t think they need to tip the waitstaff for doing their jobs, especially after paying $100 for food. I know you’ll think that if they can’t afford to tip then they shouldn’t be dining out, but once again, tipping is NOT mandatory!
May 31st, 2008 at 6:13 am
Days like Mother’s Day are so the reason that I’m glad I no longer serve! I used to call those days (Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas Eve, etc) Amateur Eating Out Day. A bunch of people that don’t normally go out to eat, come out of the woodwork and act like cheap assholes.
June 7th, 2008 at 6:03 am
Tim Buck, what race are these people? I didn’t read about race anywhere in the post. To come to any conclusion of race you would have to follow STEREOTYPES, which you clearly did.