“Bring me some Bailey’s”
Fun times, Hell, alcohol, foreigners, happiness, stupid people Add commentsAs you all know from a couple of posts ago, I had a “fun” weekend last week. Issues with the Expo line, stupid guests, lots of little slutty looking girls that didn’t look old enough to drive much less act like they were and wear what they did. I saw more camel toes last weekend than I have the entire time at the “Restaurant that shant be named”. Last Friday night, much like most of the recent Friday nights, I ended up in the bowling/billiard areas of my job. I hate being in those areas on the weekends because they get even more people who’ve caught the dumbass than normal. At least in the game room there are still some normal people.
One of my first tables of the night provided a great deal of happiness for me. Not because they left me a big tip (they didn’t leave anything for me except a complaint), but because they thought they were smarter than I was.
Approaching the table, I see a foreign looking couple. From a distance they look to be Latin but when I got closer I could see they were Kurds. Everyone knows that I hate serving Kurds because they don’t tip for shit, but I couldn’t get out of it. That early in the shift, it was just me on the floor. Trying not to groan as I walked up to them, I put the most fake smile I possibly could onto my face. “Hey guys, how ya’ll doing this afternoon.” I use my hick accent to it’s fullest advantage sometimes, namely because tourists love it. I used it this time because I was in a mood.
“We tursty,” the guy said with his heavy accent. I always wonder if Kurdish people just can’t pronounce the th sound or if they’re just trying to be smart. I wonder the same thing about many black people when it comes to the word ask.
“Well sir, it’s Happy Hour if you would like to get something from our bar.” I’m still pouring it on even though I’m starting to think I’ve waited on these two before, the girl has really bushy and long red hair and she looks very familiar.
“Bring me someting….exotic,” Adawallah responds. I decide to bring him something fruity.
“That’s no problem sir, I just need to see your ID first. And ma’am, what would you like to drink this afternoon?” I ask, turning to Amatullah of the Bushy Hair and grabbing Adawallah’s ID all at once.
“Bring me shot of Bailey’s.” If nothing else, these mother fuckers were concise. No please, no Can I have?, no I would like. Just Bring this now! I hate that attitude.
“Would you like that straight up or on the rocks, ma’am?”
“On rocks.”
“Have you got your ID on you, ma’am?” I ask, somehow already knowing the answer. She might have long and bushy hair, but Amatullah certainly did not look to be any older than 14 years of age. She starts digging through her pockets, all one and a half of them, for her ID and manages to fish out a debit card. She hands me the debit card and tells me “We want start tab,” then goes back to playing her game.
“Ma’am, I would certainly love to start a tab for the two of you but I cannot serve your Bailey’s without seeing your ID first.”
“It must be in car,” she says while racking the next game of pool.
“Would you like to go get it?” I asked, wondering if she really expected me to bring her drink without it.
“Just go ahead and bring her drink, you see my ID already,” Adawallah chimes in.
I turn to him, “I can’t serve her a drink until I see her ID for it. Would you like to go and get it from the car for her or does she just not have one?”
“It is in car. Bring her drink and we get ID later.”
“No, sir, I can’t do that. Ma’am, would you like me to bring you a coke or tea for now?” I ask. I can see the look of hate in her eyes, she knows I know she’s not legal now.
“No, I will be fine.” That’s quite fine with me. I go and get his drink and drop it off. I hang around for a minute to see if they want anything to munch on while they play. They don’t order anything, and are even shorter with me than they were to begin with. I guess I really did piss them off.
I decide to keep an eye on them while they play, knowing that she is going to drink out of his drink. At that time of the day, my only guests are in the billiard room so hanging around to keep an eye on them isn’t a real problem. I wander through every few minutes or so, mostly making it look like I’m cleaning, occasionally checking on other guests. Finally, I catch this bitch with the drink in her hand. I let the manager know, who says she needs to see it before I can take it. I tell her that she has to keep an eye on them then, and let someone else answer manager calls for a few minutes.
When I go back to check on them again, she’s had more of his drink and it’s a little over half empty. “Ya’ll doing alright over here?” I ask.
“I no like this drink, I want someting else,” Adawallah tells me, holding it up and shaking it a little.
“That’s fine, sir, let me take this one out of your way then.” I reach out to grab the first drink, and he pulls it away from me.
“I will keep this.”
“But sir, if you don’t like it then why would you want to keep and pay for it? I’ll just take it out of your way for you and you won’t have to deal with it anymore.”
“Bring me Bailey’s on rocks and I will finish this one.” When he orders the Bailey’s a red flag pops up in my head and I respond accordingly.
“Sir, I’m not bringing you a shot of Bailey’s, I’m sorry.” I make to grab the first drink again and he pulls it away from me again.
“Why not?” he asks me with a knowing smile on his face.
“I’m not bringing it because it’s the exact same drink that she ordered, and she has failed to produce proper ID for me. I’ll gladly bring you something else, but I’m not going to bring a drink that you’re clearly going to give to her.”
He doesn’t try to order another drink, and as I walk off, I guess just to piss me off even more, I see the girl pick up the fruity drink and take a big swallow from it. Seeing that, I go and grab my manager again. I let her know what’s going on, and that I’m not going to serve him a shot of Bailey’s that is going to go directly down his girlfriends throat. She goes and speaks with the guests and comes back. She tells me that the guy made it quite clear the Bailey’s was for him, and that she made it quite clear that his girlfriend had to have ID to drink and if she was caught drinking out of either the fruity drink I served first, or the Bailey’s that was about to be served, that I would be removing both drinks, they would pay for both drinks, they would pay for their billiards, and they would leave the building.
I don’t like being told I have to serve a guest alcohol, especially when it’s my liquor license on the line if something happens but out of respect for the manager and the fact that TN is a Right to Hire/Fire state, I went ahead and did it. At least I knew that I’d be able to snatch a drink from them, and that made me happy.
I dropped the Bailey’s off with them and started the waiting game. I hovered for a little while, let the front desk employees know what was going on, and let the other cocktail servers know what was going on. If this bitch so much as picked the drink up, they were to let me know so I could take it away from them.
She avoided it for a while, even when she didn’t know I was watching. For a split second I wondered if he really did order it for himself, being that he was the only one drinking it. Then I noticed something: I noticed that the drink was never getting shorter despite him bringing it to his lips a number of times. That just made me more diligent. I had to serve a couple of guests in bowling during this, so I didn’t have my eyes on her the entire time, but when I was up at the host stand, I glanced over to see her pick up the drink and try to kill it. I nearly ran over to them to get it away before she finished it. I was happy to notice that when I got there, the straw was still at her lips and I was in time.
I grabbed the drink from her as she was sucking it out of the straw, and it splashed all over her. That brought me a certain amount of satisfaction. “What you doing?” she shouted at me.
“You were already told by both myself and my manager that you had to have your ID to drink. You failed to show either of us a proper form of ID. You were also told that if you were caught drinking that you would have to pay your tab, pay for your pool and leave. I’m going to need you to pay for your drinks now. Would you like to use the credit card I’m holding or would you like to pay cash?”
“We pay cash,” Adawallah said, stepping in front of her before she had a chance to say anything else to me. He held out a 20 dollar bill to me. I took it and went to get his change. I put his change and the credit card I’d been holding on to into a check presenter and left it with them, telling them they had 10 minutes to leave the premises. I then went to clock out for a break and smoke. I almost made it out the back door when a manager stops me and pulls me back in. The guest has stopped at the host stand to bitch about me and accuse me of stealing their credit card. Manager B the Wise is getting the third degree from these assholes, and I actually feel kind of sorry for him. I don’t like dealing with them either! I run back up to the front, and let Manager B the Wise know that their credit card was in the check book that I’d put the change into. They got their card, almost pissed off that I hadn’t stolen it and given them a reason to bitch at me.
Too bad I was in the right with the situation. Everyone knows how much of a hardass I am about checking ID. I’m not letting anyone else slide, so why am I going to let someone who looks like they’re still a teenager slide? I’m not losing my job over something stupid.
Ribeye
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June 7th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Good for you! There are certain states, one of which I reside in, that will not only prosecute you for serving a minor but that will never allow you to work again for a business that serves alcohol.
June 7th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
I know all too well the joy of sticking someone with the “No ID no service” clause only for me its to check into a hotel, a surprising amount of people don’t realize that most hotels require the patron to be 21 or over to check in and receive keys, atleast once or twice a week i get screamed at becuase some kid can’t check into the room their mom set up for them…I love it! Good post Ribeye
June 7th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
dude… why didnt you just have them arrested? in TX we just get the cops in there. gotta use em for something, seeing as how they cant prevent the nightly shootings in my apartment complex. i call those fuckers every chance i get.
if you had brought the law down on them you can rest assured they wont show up in your section again. more room for other human trash.
June 7th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Bravo, Ribeye!
June 8th, 2008 at 9:51 am
They really ought to remove the drinking laws. There’s no good reason why anyone who wants a drink can’t have one. Drinking is a right, not a privilege.
June 8th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
And Paul’s comment is the reason there are liquor laws. Along with the assholes who you got to take liquor away from. And every drunk jerk who hangs out with my neighbors.
June 8th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Ha! It must have been so gratifying to kick those a-holes out of your restaurant. I got to politely and graciously shoo away a 7-top of patio campers (I was hosting) today. It was great fun.
June 9th, 2008 at 5:18 am
paul where in the constitution does it say drinking is a right. you are a moron
June 9th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Shawn: Tenth Amendment.
June 10th, 2008 at 7:03 am
You should get yourself a magnet to demagnetize the credit cards of jerks like this. “Here you go sir, I didn’t steal it.” (I just “disabled” it.)
June 10th, 2008 at 8:51 am
“The powers not delagated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.”
Oh yeah…right there. Drinking is a right. How could we all miss it?
June 10th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
haha, paul’s an idiot.
i love not serving people that don’t have an id.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:32 am
“I don’t like being told I have to serve a guest alcohol, especially when it’s my liquor license on the line… ”
I’m not from TN - waiters each get their own liquor license instead of one for the whole restaurant? That sounds inefficient and tough on paperwork.
June 14th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
You should have found another line of work a long time ago. You’ve got this little tiny bit of power, denying underage drinkers, and you take far too much pleasure in enforcing it. Granted, I don’t take kindly to those who try to sneak drinks to their underage companions. However, I know and you do too, that you are in no legal trouble if you have asked for an ID and have NOT served the underage drinker. There you were, hovering over that table trying to catch that gal with a straw in her mouth while your other customers might have benefited from some of your attention. BTW, if you think that your hatred of certain ethnic groups is hidden by your over the top drawl, it isn’t. It explains the poor tips you get, too. I’ve been in the business for over 25 years and treat everyone the same. Despite the myths that abound, I’ve never found any group to be worse tippers than any other, save for tourists who are not comfortable with or aware of the US cutom of proper tipping. I get that this is a site to come and vent about annoying customers, but man, you are really an embarrassment to the industry as are the others here who can barely contain their excitement over playing ID police. Serving is a hard profession and is not for everyone. If you don’t like people, you can’t do it well. You don’t like being told what to do? Boy, are you ever in the wrong line of work. Your first clue should be your title. Hello? Server?
June 14th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
“I don’t like being told I have to serve a guest alcohol, especially when it’s my liquor license on the line… ”
This is a load of bull. OF course servers do not hold their own liquor licenses. They work under their employers license. This particular sever needs to familiarize themselves with the law. You cannot get in trouble if a guest sneaks a sip of another guests drink as long as you were reasonably diligent in preventing it. Technically, the server probably should have refused to serve the guy who was of age as she had a good idea that he was going to share with someone underage. I have the feeling that Ribeye would have been dissapointed if the cusomer had not tried to sneak a sip. C’mon. Be honest. It made your night to catch them, didn’t it? I think you should look into a career in law enforcement. A good server knows that their main job is to see to it that each of their guests has a good experience. You can make a heck of a lot of money when it is done right. No matter how much you make now, I guarantee that with an improved attitude, you would be making more. If you don’t like being told what to do, take a different job that isn’t ALL about being told what to do.
June 15th, 2008 at 1:45 am
ProudToBeAserver » Proud, I notice that you’ve now posted two comments bashing me. Let me ask you something: Do you live in TN? Does your state require you to have a license to serve alcohol, here known as an ABC card (Alcoholic Beverage Commission)? Let me tell you, it’s really quite easy to lose it if you serve someone underage. When I had those “guests” that I hovered over, I had one or two other tables, and they got great service and left me great tips.
I’ll say this again for those who don’t know or are too lazy to go back to the beginning of the posts. I make good money where I work. I blog about the trash that I have to serve, and yes, much of that trash is from one “ethnic group” or another. I’m not going to try to give a guest a good experience that’s either abused my kindness before (in the case of the repeat stiffers) or people that are trying to put one over on me. I can’t afford to lose my job, and losing my ABC card to a bitch that wants to drink while underage would do just that.
As for your other comment, where you call me a racist and yes, you did call me a racist in your own little words: I love working with decent people. I don’t like serving gutter trash. Let me ask you, do you work in a high class restaurant? I don’t. I work in a sports bar/restaurant type deal, and we get the dregs of society in our establishment regularly. Let me ask you something else, ProudToBeAserver: Would you try your hardest for someone who is yelling at you or tapping on your shoulder while you’re at another table? No? I didn’t think so. You try to sound so high and mighty, like you don’t have any kind of preferences as to who you serve and who you don’t. That is the “load of bull” honey. I’ve not met a single server who didn’t discriminate against one group or another and let me tell you, my hatred of certain ethnic groups isn’t what explains the poor tips. You can be nice as pie to ghetto trash with giant weave or trailer trash with a giant mullet, you can give them what they want, you can do it with a smile and Hell, the smile may even be genuine! It doesn’t change that ghetto is still ghetto and redneck is still redneck.
Don’t try to act like you’re better than any other server because you’re just the same. You’re a server and no matter how much you say it, deep inside you know there are groups of people who don’t tip. Ever wonder why even black servers don’t want to serve black guests? Ever wonder why white servers don’t want to serve rednecks or white trash ghetto? There is a reason for it no matter how you try to spin it.
June 15th, 2008 at 10:49 am
This guy sure sounds like one of the “older” servers that every restaurant has who thinks that they’re the best and really don’t know shit. He thinks he is high and mighty and can do no wrong, when in fact, you did the right thing. Hey there big fella, you aren’t from TN apparently, and here, the restaurant does have their own license. Agreed. But in order to even work under that license, you have to have an ABC card. You can work for 60 days I believe after being hired without one, that’s all. So yes, clueless, Ribeye could have easily lost his license or his job. Had there been a secret shopper present, the job would have been gone instantly. Besides, he isn’t high and mighty like you are, he’s damn good with people, and until they treat him with utter disrespect, he enjoys being pleasant and conversing with his tables. So I would advise that your judgemental Bertha better than you attitude be taken somewhere else where it applies and leave Ribeye alone.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
I was kind of wondering why you were so zealous, honestly. I am a server too, and even though I check IDs, it’s completely legal for guardians or parents to let their children or whatever have alcohol. Of course thats not a boyfriend/girlfriend deal, and I’m talking about Texas not Tennessee. I wouldn’t, however, be such an asshole and delight in not allowing people to have alcohol and apologize (and I’d probably mean it). Legalities are nice and all, and you should follow them, but you don’t have to be a legalist ass hole and treat your customers like dirt “because they’re Bad Kurd Tippers”. I didn’t really want to immediately jump on you because, you are from TN, and even though I’ve looked up some state alcohol laws, I didn’t have a clear picture. I also don’t know what worthless, stressful corporate hierarchy you work under.
But Kurds? Seriously, how do you know that they’re that specific group when you approach them. What is there an enclave or an immigrant Kurd population in Tennessee, next to a “sports bar/restaurant”, or did you serve in the Kurd Spotting Battalion during the war? That’s just goddamn silly. And if you think it’s some sort of “particular ethnic group” problem, you may be racist but more likely just misguided. If those are “Kurds,” I suppose that means they’ve immigrated to Tennessee only recently, that means they’re just from a different society. In most of the world, waiters don’t work for their tips. When I traveled to Italy for example, they got paid a good hourly wage and most of the times their tip was automatically figured into their bill. This, of course, is why there exists a stereotype of being served by a snobby Parisian waiter. They don’t have to give a shit, they don’t have to take shit from customers and The Customer Is Only Right When They Win The Shouting Match. I like the United States’ system better, though, it seems like one of the only countries where rude waiters are the ‘gimmick’ of the restaurant.
Anyway, so it’s not the races, or the ethnic groups, it’s more like the socio-economic group. Like you said, white trash are poor white trash, “ghetto people” are poor ghetto people. Kurds are, well, they’re foreigners.
What you really remind me of is that passive-aggressive girl from Waiting…