Poll Results and the Pregnant Drunk that caused the poll
alcohol, polls, redneck people, stupid people Add commentsYou’ve all probably been wondering where the post explaining the pregnant woman poll has been. Well, after the results, you’ll see the reasons for the poll.
Should servers have the right to deny alcohol service to pregnant women?
- I’m on the fence: I don’t agree with pregnant women drinking, but I don’t agree with denying something legal either. (43%, 99 Votes)
- Yes, servers should be allowed to deny alcohol service if they feel it will be unsafe. (29%, 67 Votes)
- No, it’s not the servers place to dictate how a woman chooses to treat her unborn child (11%, 25 Votes)
- No, if they are legal the women should be allowed to drink what they want, pregnant or not (10%, 23 Votes)
- Yes, women should not be able to put the baby’s life at risk, especially if they chose to continue the pregnancy (8%, 18 Votes)
Most of you are on the fence about this issue and that’s quite understandable. Many doctors tell pregnant women that one glass of wine or one beer a day is good for them. I wasn’t as specific as that with this poll, and maybe I should have been.
I had a guest last week that was almost 8 months pregnant. Legally, here in TN, a server cannot deny a pregnant woman alcohol if she is legal and not already intoxicated. We can’t deny her alcohol just because she is a pregnant woman, no matter if we have a moral or ethical issue with it.
This woman was not ordering just a glass of wine or a bottle of beer. This woman started out her night with a Jager Bomb. During the two hours they were at my table, I served this woman the Jager Bomb, two Long Island Iced Teas, and a shot of house tequila. That’s just the stuff that I served her. I was told that if I refused to serve her that I could be fired for discrimination. Nobody else would take the table from me, and I couldn’t get a manager to pick it up.
After they cashed out, leaving me nothing on their 70 dollar bill, fucking redneck scum, she had her boyfriend get her about 5 more drinks from the bar. I tried to tell the bartender that they were going to a pregnant woman, who by that time was starting to get lit, but they didn’t listen. She went outside to smoke about 9-10 times, don’t know how many she smoked but it was at least 9. She was quite loud in asking the other girl at the table for a xanax (after cashing out, that would have given me a reason to deny her service), so she was taking nerve pills on top of all the alcohol.
This is why I made the poll. I was fuming by the time this scum left my restaurant, and I could do nothing about it. Had I been in the mood to lose my job, I would have said something to her, but I can’t really afford to lose that job. The other job doesn’t provide enough income to survive on.
I’m all for a woman’s right to choose. I’m all for the one glass of wine or beer during pregnancy if they really want one. Hell, I don’t even care if the woman smokes. I’m almost sure my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me. This bitch was going overboard, however, and it made me want to hurt her. I can only hope that she’s not doing this on a regular basis because that child will be born with fetal alcohol syndrome if it’s not stillborn. What she did was criminal, and the laws that say we can’t deny a woman alcohol based on pregnancy need to be fine tuned a bit.
This bitch is the reason that I started the poll.
I’d appreciate your opinions on this, elaborated from your answers on the poll. I’m curious to know the reasons for your answers. I can see why most of you would give the “on the fence” answer and once again, that’s my fault for not being more clear.
The Restaurant Customer Stereotype series will return tomorrow, and Ghetto names of the week will be back next week. I’m also trying to find the time to call a young news producer of a radio station to set up an interview, something that was offered to me a month and a half ago. That’s the lack of time I’ve got right now, as I was supposed to call her last week. I’ll make sure to let you all know when it’s set up, and where you’ll be able to hear it.
Thanks as always, and keep coming. I’m not getting as much posted but I’m doing the best I can!
Ribeye
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July 2nd, 2008 at 4:34 am
I’m with you - I think it’s fine for a pregnant woman to have a drink, maybe two. But I do think that if there are child endangerment laws that protect other people from harming a fetus, there should be child endangerment laws that protect a mother from harming her fetus. It’s illegal to use drugs (cocaine, etc) when you are pregnant; technically, it becomes two charges, one of posession and one of child endangerment. There needs to be some sort of welfare clause in liquor laws that allows servers to cut off a pregnant woman without fear of discrimination, since the effects of over-use of alcohol on a fetus are well-documented. I don’t think most servers would fuss about a pregnant woman ordering a drink with friends; but no one should be forced to help create another case of FAS.
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:39 am
guess this is a very RARE instance where Texas law isnt pro business as usual
its illegal for a server to provide an alcoholic beverage to a visibly pregnant woman
and all those going i dont mind -read the research you drink while carrying that kid your only hurting the kiddeos development
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:42 am
hey ribeye if she returns try to follow her out to the parking lot and get her plate number and report her to the TN version of child protective services and maybe they will get involved
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:01 am
Most doctors do say that one beer or wine glass of wine is okay, but they also tell you to stay away from hard liquor. And you are right about the smoking. Doctors tell you that if you get pregnant while you are a smoker, it is actually less stress for the baby to continue (but cut back dramatically) than it would be to quit cold turkey.
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:37 am
I recall an incident where I live where a waiter refused to serve alcohol to a pregnant woman who was nearly at term. On the one hand, I don’t think it’s the waiter’s place to sit in judgment on a customer who clearly isn’t drunk (as was the case here) but on the other hand, your laws are deeply stupid. You are required to cut off someone who is a danger to himself or others because he is inebriated, but you can’t cut off someone who is clearly a danger to another person just because the second person is inside the first person. (Oops - did I just call the fetus a person? Silly me. Courts say it isn’t and so you are not allowed to act in its interests as you would if baby were outside of mommy.)
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:42 am
This may sound like a stupid question, but are you sure she was pregnant? I get mistaken for pregnant occasionally, but in reality, I’m just apple shaped and a bit fat. Add a little general bloat on top of that, and I look good and knocked up. Which can be pretty annoying when I’m getting dirty looks for having a beer.
Anyway, that’s why I’m on the fence about the poll. Because you can’t always tell if someone’s pregnant, or just having a bloaty day.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:03 am
My opinion? Well, if my waiter or waitress refused to serve me alcohol because THEY have a problem with the fact that I’m pregnant, I’d be pretty pissed. This woman, however, was completely out of line. I truly hope this was a (very) rare situation…and know it is far too common.
I suppose you really don’t have a right to refuse to serve alcohol, but by glass number three, it seems reasonable that the server could/should be allowed to refuse further drinks if they feel the person is being unsafe…especially in this set of circumstances where you knew Xanex was on board, plus the smokes. Xanax is a class D drug, and can cause birth defects. Mix with alcohol - yay! It’s not necessarily her rights, but the unborn child’s.
You don’t serve alcohol to minors unless it’s in utero. :)
My doctor actually told me that no one *really* knows how much is too much or “safe.” There is no moral or ethical way to run a study. What we know is based on people who overdo it…we wind up with crack babies and fetal alcohol syndrome…and they lie about what they took or what they drank and how much. Now this was 10 years ago, so maybe there are better studies with some hard and fast rules by now, I don’t know.
I was actually told that alcohol-wise, up to two in a day was okay, but not *every* day….think two or three drinks a week, and not more then two in a day. Sounds reasonable to me. I didn’t drink much alcohol when I was pregnant, but if we went to a restaurant, yea I wanted a little wine, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:51 am
I don’t think pregnant women should be drinking at all. Even one beer or a glass of wine cannot be good for your little one growing inside you. It might help the woman calm down, but if you’re going to plan for a child at least give it all the nutrition and care you can, I mean it’s just for 9 months. Same thing with smoking. If you’re addicted to the nicotine, find a way to quit if you are pregnant.
I worked at a nightclub where at least a couple times I saw pregnant women drinking. I was disgusted that they could do something like that, as well as be around all the secondhand smoke. If they don’t want the baby or don’t want it to be retarded when it’s born, well, there are ways to not get pregnant.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:07 am
When I was trying to get pregnant, I ended up having 5 miscarriages. Yes five. All happened during my first trimester. I did not smoke (never have) nor drink ANYTHING while I was pregnant.
My mother ( I use term loosely) drank, smoked and did drugs while she was pregnant with my youngest brother. One reason I ended up gaining custody of him and raising him as my son.
I did a lot of research while I was trying to have a baby. I read that as little as ONE glass of alcohol could cause FAS. Why take that chance?
Oh and I voted on denying service to pregnant woman. I guess I would just have to lose my job. Seriously.
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I definitely think that the woman was going overboard, and shouldn’t have been out drinking. On the other hand, consider this:
A good waiter like you would not abuse being able to cut a pregnant woman off. Another neighbor might- my boyfriend works for a convenience store, and a man refused to sell cigarettes to a pregnant woman. It was an ethical stand, he said. There are also tales of pharmacists refusing to sell birth control pills to women, because it’s against their morals. This I don’t agree with, and although you would have had a good reason- a right, even- to deny the woman service, I’ve seen that abused often enough to cringe.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:01 pm
I was in a large Metro NICU yesterday, and anyone that could see how these little tiny infants born at 24 weeks with FAS would think twice about drinking while pregnant. If you dont care enough about yourself to take care of your body while youre pregnant, what kind of parent are you going to be?
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm
People really need to fill out applications to have kids. This is incredible. How many drinks does it take to mess up/ kill your baby? If you don’t know, then don’t drink- period.
I’m all for reproductive rights, a woman’s right to choose, etc, but there comes a time when you can’t argue that the baby isn’t a baby and that is when women like the one in your post should be jailed. Or punched in the face. Or both.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
emmy » Her boyfriend was quite proud to say that she was pregnant and he was going to be a father.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:52 pm
I am currently pregnant. I dont believe that women should be drinking while pregnant. It is not your life anymore. It is in the possession of the baby till that child is born.
Now for my hipocritical moment. I craved beer for a few weeks when i was about 2 months along. So i took my husband out to a brewery for supper. They have 2 oz tester glasses of beer. I ordered the one i wanted in the tester size. Had 2 small swallows of it and made my husband drink the rest. It was the last time i had a drink and i have been on the straight and narrow ever since.
I wish you could have refused service to her. Or at least have passed her FAS phamplets as her coasters.
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Ah, thank you for that clarification. I, like you, would have really, really wanted to cut her off. Not to mention confiscate the Xanax, and probably yell at her until I made myself very tired. Unfortunately, she probably would have just made a stop by the nearest liquor store and gotten toasted anyway.
You know, our grandparents’ generation didn’t know it wasn’t a good idea to smoke and drink while pregnant, and it seems most of their kids are okay, but this one was just taking it way, way, too far. Even if the baby’s born healthy, with parents like that, it doesn’t have a great shot at a good childhood, does it?
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Wow, rednecks…
Regardless of the drinking, I don’t think they were going to be good parents anyway. Some people should not breed.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I commented on your previous post - I was pregnant and had the occasional glass of wine … why couldn’t you cut the woman off due to being overserved? Eight shots (I’m assuming your Long Islands are 3 shots or so) in two hours is too much for anyone, technically. I would have refused to serve anyone that much if they weren’t throwing money at me.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Most research shows that any amount of alcohol can be dangerous,so most doctors no longer suggest any alcohol. FAS can result from just one binge drinking event. Research has not shown any “safe” limit of alcohol for a fetus. In all of the research I have seen, I would not want to take any chances with alcohol and a fetus.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 pm
She was probably trying to kill the thing, or she’s an alcoholic.
I didn’t answer the poll because the question didn’t address the issue of, is it fair to expect a server to do a visual pregnancy test, and hold him/her accountable if s/he is wrong? Imagine if you accuse the customer of being pregnant and she’s just fat!
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:27 am
Actually, alcohol consumption during the late stages of pregnancy is not as bad as you imagine. The bulk of alcohol-related neural deficits occur because of binge-like drinking, during the first 8 weeks of gestation, with a peak at 15-25 days. The problem being that a lot of girls are not aware they are pregnant at this time, especially if they are of the type to drink regularly: you see this correlation a lot when you are dealing with, shall we say, alcohol-inspired pregnancies. During this the first few months are when the bulk of neural tube development takes place, with smaller growth spurts notable during (yes, I know) the last trimester, and 3 and 6 months after birth. Most of the thrid trimester, though, the baby is fully fully formed, just getting bigger, and finishing out lungs, and whatnot.
In addition, a lot other damage can happen from binge drinking, especially during the first trimester: “The CNS, heart, eyes, legs, arms, teeth, ears, palate, external genitalia are vulnerable to alcohol in the first trimester.” [somehow, mentioning the last to the father is often quite effective to bring pressure on the expectant mother not to drink, in cases where the father is actually around. Dads don’t care if their son is a ‘tard, but if they might be embarrassing the family name with a shrunken pecker, then … ]
one good source: http://www.digitalism.org/hst/fetal.html
[None of the above is above is meant to condone drinking during pregnancy. You should be required to get a license to have a kid, or something, blah, blah, blah … ]
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:18 am
Oh yeah, drank like a fish when I was el prego… that’s because I was getting an abortion and the whole thing pretty much destroyed me.
And, yes, I used birth control religiously. I was just part of that 0.01% for whom the shit seemed to fail. It was awesome.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Drunk pergnant women are so sexy
July 6th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
The managers were idiots. The job of a manager is to step in when there’s an issue. Why have them if they don’t step up?
July 6th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
I was part of the “refuse” faction of the poll, driven mostly by that whole moral sense of NOT endangering a baby, I think that the current law on the book that forbids service to people under 21 years of age should be expanded to cover pregnant women to some extent- after, baby isn’t 21 is it?
July 7th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I think that woman is going to hell. And Robert, I totally agree.
July 7th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
hey, its good to see you put the rage back in raging server. i’m on the fence about this one. i dont think a pregnant woman should drink to excess, but that’s just my opinion. however i dont think that a law needs to be created for every stupid human behaviour under the sun. if this woman wants to endanger the life inside of her, then so be it. there really isnt anything we can or should do. hopefully the baby dies before it pops out and has to (most likely): live its life with a string of abusive, stupid baby-daddy replacements, never knowing its real father; being ignored by a mother who will only use it as a number on tax and welfare forms and completely ignore it, stopping only when not drunk or drugged into a stupor to scream at it and possibly abuse it; become a drug addicted, alcoholic, abusive father, or a drug addicted, alcoholic, abusive mother. i hope the kid dies before it gets the chance to live such a shitty life and suck up the welfare for which the government steals my money to give to these worthless pieces of trash.
the kid is better off dead. maybe the mother bears a shitty retard and learns a lesson from it. maybe the kid comes out fine and breaks the cycle of alcoholism and abuse. it’s still none of your business. either way, you should not be obliged to serve someone if they make you uncomfortable. however, we dont need to make a law against pregnant women drinking, because not all pregnant women start off their dinner with a jager bomb and proceed to get sloshed.
if you feel like you deserve some moral high ground for this, and still feel like “there ought to be a law”, think about the muslim waiters in europe who, by law, are allowed to refuse to serve alcohol and pork just because they deem them unclean. you start demanding laws against everything just because you think you know best and you give the government, and their voting blocs, way too much power.
let the woman drink, let the kid die/suffer, but dont act like you know what’s best, and dont fire servers just because he doesnt want to contribute to a stupid woman killing her child, and stop demanding new laws for every fucking thing that bothers you.