Yes, you saw it here first.

This is the tale of two men, a little girl, a manager, and a helpless server caught in the middle.

Your very own Ribeye was standing at the Micros, putting in an order when suddenly, this semi-tall weird looking man in his late 40’s comes running up to the bar, yelling at the top of his lungs, “HEY, HEY!  I NEED YOUR HELP, I’VE BEEN ASSAULTED!”  I looked up, seeing that the old guy wasn’t swelling up or anything like that, and went back to my order.  He kept yelling.

I finished ringing in my tables food, and started to walk off when the old guy grabbed my arm.  Now, I want you all to imagine Mr. Garrison from South Park, as a human.  That was this guy.   He grabs my arm and pulls me around, and with some really bad breath, yells into my face, “CAN YOU HELP ME?  I’VE BEEN ASSAULTED!  I NEED THE COPS!”

I didn’t really know what to say except for, “Will a manager do?”  I call a manager on the radio, and turn back to the guy.  “What happened?” I asked.

“I was playing a game and my niece asked me what ‘Fuck You’ meant.  She’s 6 years old!  She was pointing to that guy over there’s shirt!  I said something to him and he told me ‘Tell her it means to fuck off, and if either of you bother me again I’m gonna nail you!’  I was assaulted!”

The manager came by and talked to the guy.  Apparently, old guy wanted us to get the young guy with the offensive shirt out of the building.  Manager J with the Backbone tells Mr. Garrison that there’s nothing we can do, it’s a free speech issue.  Garrison doesn’t like this, and he and another friend of his walk off.

Maybe 15 minutes later, I’m out on the game room floor taking care of another guest, and I finally see the shirt in question.

I really want one of these shirts by the way.  I also see Mr. Garrison and his friend getting up in the owner of the shirt’s face.  I don’t pay much attention to it until I try to card the guest I’m talking to, and suddenly, I’m bombarded.  “MAKE HIM TAKE THAT GODDAMNED SHIRT OFF RIGHT NOW, RIBEYE, IT’S OFFENDING ME!  THIS IS A FAMILY ESTABLISHMENT, I BRING MY NIECE HERE ALL THE TIME.  WHY AREN’T YOU TAKING THAT SHIRT OFF OF HIM?!  I TOLD YOU TO TAKE IT OFF OF HIM!  DO IT RIGHT NOW!”  As he’s yelling at me, he’s literally less than an inch from my face.  This sets me off.

“Sir, if you don’t get the fuck out of my face and stop yelling at me, I’M going to be the one to lay you out in the floor!  You need to take a few steps back, RIGHT NOW!”

“HIS SHIRT IS OFFENDING ME, IT’S JUST PLAIN RUDE!  I DEMAND THAT YOU TAKE IT AWAY FROM HIM AND MAKE HIM LEAVE!”  About that time, Manager J walks up again, and asks if there’s a problem.

“YOU NEED TO MAKE RIBEYE TAKE THAT SHIRT AWAY FROM HIM!”  How the fuck did I get dragged into it other than asking what happened in the beginning?  I still haven’t figured it out.

“I can’t make him remove his shirt, it’s a First Amendment Right.”

“NO IT’S NOT!  THIS IS A FAMILY RESTAURANT!”

“Wrong, this is an 18 and up restaurant and bar, and if you’re that worried, you shouldn’t be bringing your niece here in the first place.”  He escorted Mr. Garrison and his friend out of the building for making a scene.  Later, he comes up to me and Mr. S, one of my cocktail comrades, and shakes our hands.  “It’s my last night, it’s been fun working with you.”  Apparently, Mr. Garrison said that by the time he was done, Manager J would no longer be working for our company.

We went to Manager J the Impartial after that and said, “Since this is Manager J the Backboned’s last night, can we have some key hourly shifts and move up the ladder a bit?”

Does that shirt really offend people to the point of losing their tempers, or was this person just a fucking nutcase?  I wanted to throttle this old man.  What makes the whole thing worse is that according to all the guests who were in the area, there was no niece with the old man.  Manager J said there was no niece when he escorted Garrison out.  The old man wanted to start some shit, and chose a guy with a cool shirt who was minding his own business playing games to start his shit with.

I hate people sometimes.

Ribeye

So there are a few new links added to the sidebar now, can ya tell I love to read blogs? Once again, I try to mention everyone once or twice, but I’m a moron sometimes and I miss people, so I apologize if that’s the case.

In the “Friends” area, we have the following:

Daffy’s Ramblings

How to become an adult in six easy steps

Trowel anyone?

In the “Dinner Directory” area, we have:

Service Slave

Waitress Stories

Serving

Kind of a Big Deal

Waiter’s Revenge 

If I double mentioned someone, and forgot to mention someone else, or you would like to be mentioned, feel free to send me an e-mail, I have no problem shamelessly advertising your site as long as it’s not porn or spam-a-lishis.

Once again, please please please don’t be upset if I’ve got a link to your page and I just missed you in the few advertising posts, just send me a message and I’ll gladly put ya on one!

Also, from AngrySheepStudios, we have another T-Shirt Design, this one is an updated version of the one I had up a few posts ago.

Come back for more everyone!

Thank you to Kim who actually took the time to make this (I’m assuming, and hoping I don’t find it somewhere else online).  This is the first of hopefully at least a few designs that you, the wonderful readers that keep me going, has sent in.

Thank you so much, Kim, and if you have more I’d love to see them!

I asked last month for T-shirt designs, and none of you, not a single person, sent any to me.  That’s kind of upsetting, being that many of you have said you’d buy them if I had them up.  I am a lousy artist people, I need some designs!  I’m also planning on having some coffee mugs and bumper stickers.  Once again, I need design ideas.  I have RagingServer pens being shipped to me from National Pen,  which I’m going to take to some of the local restaurants, and other places.  I’m going to keep them away from my personal job, at least for the moment.

Designs everyone, get to sending!