Update!

Here is the segment of the Murray Wood Show where I was a guest on Monday. Just Click play below to listen! The segment is about 15 minutes long. Do you know of a show that might like to have the RagingServer as a guest? Send an email to media@ragingserver.com ! The next time I’m going to be on a show or anything, I’ll try to know more in advance, so that everyone can listen live & call in.

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The entire show can be found here, courtesy of NewsTalk980 & The Murray Wood Show. Many thanks to the show & station staff for allowing me to be a guest, and popping my ‘Radio Cherry’ for the most part! So, what did you think? Let the comments flow :)

I have had another exhausting day today…another double shift.  I went in at 12 today, originally scheduled off at 10 pm.  When I got to work, the managers were asking if I have a phone.  An odd question seeing as how they have my phone number listed in my file.  I change numbers a bit often for my liking, but I always make sure to update, can’t take the chance on missing out on money.  Apparently they were trying to call me and tell me they didn’t need me till 4.  I couldn’t afford to leave, so I convinced someone else to go home and come back later.

After staying up late Saturday night, despite my trying to sleep, I went in exhausted.  It was dead during the first couple of hours and that didn’t help my exhaustion.  I didn’t even have time to get any Red Bull before I went to work.

I went through the normal motions I go through, waking up naturally and getting annoying guests that tipped 10% or less.  We started getting busy later in the day, about 2:30.  That’s when I started making money.  Other than my feet getting blistered though, nothing bad really happened….

Until the night shift….

Every month, on the last Sunday of the month, we have a group that comes in.  I don’t know what the significance of the end of the month is, but it never fails.  The entire young Kurdish community of Nashville comes to my job.  They’ve been doing it since I started my job over a year and a half ago.  Ever since I started, there’s been a group of this community that I have to deal with.  It never fails.

This portion of their little “family” gives me some type of problem every time they come in.  In the beginning, when we still allowed smoking, we didn’t allow cloves or cigars.  It was a corporate thing that I never really understood, but it was a rule.  Some of the guys happen to smoke cloves, and got very pissed off at me when I used to put them out.  They bitched about every little thing, from having to pay an upcharge to go from a cheap side to an expensive one, to having to pay by the hour when they bowled.

It doesn’t matter if I happen to be in the bowling/billiards area or in the game room, they always end up with me.

Tonight (Sunday) happened to be that night again, and I didn’t even realize it until I heard the quacking of their voices.  I looked to see where the strange noise was coming from and my good night suddenly got bad.  I prayed they weren’t going to sit in my section.  There are about 24 of them that gravitate toward my section when they’re there and sure enough tonight was no different.  Half of them didn’t order, the other half ordered one thing at a time.  Not as a group, where it would have been easier.

They spread out across my section, taking up 5 of my 8 tables.  Only the people at 2 of the tables chose to order anything tonight, the other three were just hanging out.  Being that they were a party of more than 8 people, I had to put a gratuity on the checks.  *note* We got a memo at work recently saying that we no longer have a choice at whether we put a gratuity on a check or not.  If it’s 8 people, they get a grat no matter what.

They didn’t like the gratuity.  The first couple of checks I delivered had 5 of the 9 orders on them.  I dropped the checks and walked to the kitchen to pick up some of their food.  When I got back, Bartender B pulled me aside.  “They are pissed off that you put a gratuity on their checks, they say you have to have 8 people for a grat and there’s only 4 at the table.”  Well yeah, of course there are only 4 people at their table, they aren’t piled in to the point of bursting anymore.  At any rate, another part of the memo was that we have no choice but to remove a grat if the guest asks.

I hunt down Manager B the Wise and have him exempt the grat.  I then try to explain to them that I had no choice in the grat, that despite them sitting at different tables, they were still one big party.  They didn’t care.

They left me exact change.  I got no compensation on the 110 dollar check and I did everything right.

I hate Kurds.  Not all of them, just some of them.  The ones I have on a monthly basis have a harsh smell and a superiority complex.  I don’t like being around them, but nobody else will pick them up.  They see how I get treated, and I get stuck.

I think next month I’m going to exercise my legal right to refuse service to them.  I’m not even going to care if they call me a racist because of it.  I’m tired of being shit on by these fuckers.  Let them go to a restaurant that caters to their nationality.  I’m tired of them changing every single thing they order to something completely different than what’s in the menu.  I’m tired of the attitudes.

Right now, I’m just plain tired!!!!!!  I’m going to take care of that problem in a few minutes though.  The toilet calls, and the RagingPartner needs cuddlings, and I just plain need sleep.

I’ll post something tomorrow so until then…make sure to check out the Horror Stories page, and submit your own from there.  I can only update as long as you all send them to me.  I put up a new one earlier, bringing the grand total to 4.

Enjoy,

Ribeye

Another of my “Things to do and not to do” series tonight, mainly because I’m tired and as such my brain just isn’t working correctly right now.  Here are some of the things you can do to make your servers happy when you go out to eat.

If you say you’re ready to order, be ready to order!  We want to get your food in as quick as possible so we can get to our other tables.  Getting behind doesn’t make us happy, it puts us in the weeds.

Keep your kids under control.  When kids are polite and well mannered, we are glad to serve your family.

Be polite when you’re asking questions.  Nothing pisses us off more than a guest that comes at us asking things like “Why da fuck my food ain’ heah yet?” and “You do know what you is doin right?” If you want us to check on your food, then ask us nicely.  “I’m sorry, but would you mind checking to see how much longer our meal is going to be?”  I don’t mind helping out at all when I’m asked nicely.

Be polite when you’re ordering your drink.  “Can I get a top shelf margarita, please?” goes a lot further than, “Brang me dat Patron’ mahgarita main.”

If your food is running a long time, don’t get pissed off.  More often than not, it’s the kitchen running long, not your server.  Huffing and puffing and making demands of bread and free salads when the restaurant is clearly busy as Hell is just going to piss us off.  We’ll gladly bring you a salad on the house most of the time, as long as you’re nice about asking us.  Most of us will even offer it to you.

Don’t be snotty to us.  We’re there to make sure you have an enjoyable experience while dining out, and when you’re happy, we’re happy.  Telling us how much better you could do our jobs pisses us off.

We don’t make the prices.  If you don’t like them, please don’t take it out on us.  I don’t much enjoy high prices myself, but I don’t bitch about them, and you shouldn’t either.   Taking it out on us just pisses us off, and makes us less inclined to be nice to you or your crotch spawn.

If we’re out of something and tell you about it, but someone near you gets what you wanted, that just means we only had enough of that product to fill the orders that were already in the kitchen when you came in.  That doesn’t mean we just don’t want to serve you what you want.  We are told that we’ve run out of something by our managers, please yell at them and not us.

Compliments are nice, and we all like them.  Compliments, however, do not pay our bills.  Therefore, if you plan on giving us compliments, please do so along with a tip.  If we’ve deserved your praise then we obviously did something right and deserve a bit of cash as well.

When it comes time for the tip, please actually look at your bill and tip a percentage, or at least more than 10%.  For those of you older diners who think that tipping 2 bucks on every single check is still the standard, please remember that it’s no longer 1970.  The cost of living has gone up and as such, so has the standard of tipping.  I’m all about serving older people, I enjoy hearing stories, I enjoy flattering the older ladies and older diners are a lot of times more inclined to talk to us.  The problem remains that older people (older men mainly) tend to tip a flat rate of 2-5 bucks a check, regardless of if the check is 20 bucks or a hundred.

If you’re going to talk to our manager on the way out and are complaining, please at least give us a heads up so we can figure out what went wrong.  If it’s something you didn’t like about our service, at least we know.  If you just didn’t like the food or prices or something that we have no control over, please don’t go bitching about how horrible your service was and make demands for our corporate/owner’s phone number.  We want to see you flayed when you do that.

Ok, so this post wasn’t exactly the normal “Ribeye quality” you’ve all come to love/hate, but I’m tired tonight, and I have a long day tomorrow.  I just wanted to at least give you something.  More to come.

Ribeye

I’ve been thinking about some of these things for a while, and tonight just seemed like the night to post the list. Here are some things that you should just not say to your server when you’re out eating, either because it’s going to piss them off or because it’s just plain rude and makes you seem like a worthless piece of excrement.

“You missed a spot.”  If we’re cleaning, just let us clean.  There will be no need for noise from the peanut gallery.

“Fuck you!” You know what, Fuck you too!  If you don’t have respect for us, we’re damn sure not going to have it for you.

“How much longer on the food?”  We keep you as up to the minute as possible when your food is running long, so don’t keep asking if you don’t want to piss us off.

“How much does _______ cost?”  If you have to ask, then you need to cook it yourself.  Most prices are in the menu if it’s food, with alcohol there’s just too many prices to memorize.  If it’s not a bottle/draft beer or a well drink, then we probably don’t know right off the bat.  We’re not going to price check every fucking drink until you find the cheapest with the most liquor.  Just order and worry about it later.

“It’s slow in here tonight.”  No shit, Sherlock.  I was wondering why you were the only table getting on my nerves!

“My food tasted bad, can I get it free?”  No, you ate the entire thing, you’re now going to pay the entire thing.

“This drink doesn’t have any liquor in it.”  Yes, it does, you’ve just had so much you can’t taste it anymore.

“What’s free?”  Nothing.  Absofuckinglutely nothing.

“Can I get insert non-menu item here?”  If it’s not in the menu, then it’s probably not something the restaurant has.  Asking for it isn’t going to change that.

“Do you give anything free for birthdays?”  No, No, No, NO, NO, NO NO NO, NO NO NO!  Go to T.G.I. Fridays if you want a song!

“Do you work here?”  No, I’m just wearing an apron and asking you what you want to drink.

If standing in front of the bathroom, this one…”Where’s the bathroom?”

“Can we get some straws?”  No, I’m just going to give you these drinks without them.  They’re not sticking out of my apron, or sitting on the tray, so you can’t have them.

“Can we get some silverware?”  No, I want to watch you eat with your fingers and make my stomach turn backflips.

“So what’s your real job, or are you in school?”  This is my only job, and I make more doing it than most people do in stuffy, boring places.

I’ve got a lot more things you shouldn’t say to your servers, but I figure the list is long enough for now.  But before I go, the number one thing to say that pisses us off, because it’s not funny and we hear it so many times a night:  In regards to the check, “I thought you were taking care of that.”  What the Hell would give you the idea that we would even consider paying for your meal?

Come back for more, very soon.

Ribeye

I don’t know what makes people so stupid.  To me, it seems like it’s an age old “Nature vs. Nurture” question.  Are people just born stupid, or are they raised stupid.  I don’t know how many times tonight I was asked “Do you work here?”  How can you not know I work there when I am wearing an apron!  I know I’ve bitched about this very topic before, but it’s something that keeps happening.

Another big one in my area tonight was this.  “Can we just sit down?”  One lady in particular was really annoying.

She walks up to me while I’m bussing a table.  “Do we have to get on a list for these tables?”

“No, ma’am, they’re first come first serve.”  I say, not paying much attention to her.

“So we can just sit down?”

“Yes, ma’am, these tables are open seating.”

“Is it the same food as the restaurant?”  No you stupid bitch, it’s a completely different restuarant connected by a hallway.

“Yes, ma’am, the menu is exactly the same.”

“So we can order the same food as in the restaurant?”

“Yes ma’am, this is just another part of the restaurant.”

“So we don’t have to get on a waiting list to get a table?”

“No, ma’am, you can sit right down and a server will be right with you.”

“Do we have to see a hostess to get the table?”  I want to stab people like this.  How fucking stupid can one person be?

“Ma’am, if you’ll just sit down at a table, then one of us will be right with you to take care of you.”  She walks off, doesn’t ever sit down, and I didn’t see her again for the rest of the night.

The next table that comes in was a table of rednecks.  Why do they have to torment me?   Did I do something in a past life to deserve constant redneckery?  They sit down, it was a family of 4 guys.  Dad and his sons.  They order girly drinks.  Mai Tai, Strawberry Margarita, and a Bay Breeze.  I check ID’s.  The first two are fine, but the third.  The third is cracked, taped up and the expiration and issued dates are all faded out.  It’s not an ID that I can legally accept.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t take your ID.”

“Well why da fuck not?” he asks.  I list the reasons above.

“So you can’t give me a drink, even though I’m old enough?”

“Sir, there’s nothing I’d like to do more than to let you have your drink, but I have to worry about my job.  If I were to serve you, I’d be fired.”

“But I’m old enough to drink!  You need to get over to that bar, and get my drink.”

“I can’t do that sir, I’m sorry.”

“We ain’ never had this problem before.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not going to get fired.”

“Well I wanna see a manager.”

The manager comes by, and tells him the exact same thing.  He gets even more pissed, and his dad tries to give him a drink.  I’m forced to remove all the alcohol from the table.

“What the Hell do you think you’re doing?” the dad yells at me.

“He can’t have a drink without a valid form of ID, and I obviously cannot trust any of you to not let him have a drink, so none of you will have a drink.  I’m very sorry, but that’s the way it is.”  Manager gets called back to the table, table bitches out manager, who bitches back at him just as hard, tells him we’re not risking out liquor license.  Makes them pay and leave.  Somehow, I still got a tip off the table, although it wasn’t close to 10%.  Oh well, fucking redneck scum of the earth.

The first carnival post is coming guys, I know I said it would be yesterday, but it really is coming.

Ribeye