This is a story my father-in-law tells with great pride. He says that several years ago, he was in a well-known chain restaurant with a large group of people. They’re sitting around, drinking, when the waiter comes to take their order. Several people, my FIL included, order steaks that come with baked potatoes. The server informs the party that, unfortunately, the restaurant is all out of baked potatoes for the evening, and will need to pick another side item instead.

The waiter leaves, and drinking recommences, when FIL spots the couple at the table next-door EATING BAKED POTATOES! Those people were seated AFTER his party, therefore the server lied! (When, in fact, if they were drinking as much as it sounds like they were, and if the group was as large as he said it was, a wise server would have taken the order of the couple first to get them in and out without waiting on a big-top that is all drinking and in no hurry).

FIL grabs the waiter and says, “Can we get another table? Ours is broken!” The waiter says “Excuse me?” FIL: “Well, we apparently can’t get baked potatoes at this table, but they can at theirs, so we want to move to a different table.” Waiter: “…” FIL: “Let me talk to your manager, I want a different table.”

FIL repeats this story to the manager. Manager apologizes for the lack of potatoes. FIL says, “Well, why can’t you run down the street to the store and buy some potatoes and bring them back and bake them?” (Here, he will acknowledge that he was told that most chain restaurants are restricted by corporate policy and are not allowed to do this–but he doesn’t let that get in the way of his story). Manager says “I’m sorry, we can’t do that, and I’m going to have to ask you to pay for your drinks and leave.”

FIL’s response? “Oh, I’m sorry, sir, but my wallet’s broken.” And he proceeds to get his table to walk the check on whatever drinks they’d already drunk.

I was only a server for a few months before college, years ago, but I almost slapped him for telling this story. I did later make a comment that “we should just steal all these drinks we just ordered from [fast food restaurant] because she got your drink slightly wrong!” but I don’t think he got it.

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